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3 replies

Friendsf · 06/02/2023 21:51

No judgement, please.
I have got involved with this guy since September. We kinda became Fwb over the months. We both agreed it's just sex, no commitments. I finished long term relationship and I don't want any relationship. I got a child as well, I'm happy to be by myself and work on myself for a bit. Just wanted to have a random fling, which he was happy about.
Be didn't also want anything serious. Pretty sure he got another Fwb, which didn't bother me. I know he is clean of stds and quite responsible and single.

Few months fast forward, been seeing each other at least once a week and on rare occasions twice. Last November something happened and he made a lame excuse not to see me. He had never done it before. I think I got jealous and then realise I am catching feelings for him. The thing is, I have not been showing much affection. Just been myself, really. I'm quite chill out person, bubbly normally, quirky personality. He had made many nice comments about me . And mentioned or asked me on our meets a lot about what kind of man I'm looking for? What do I like in men, stared in my eyes, etc.etc?
The thing is over the weeks, I didn't realise but I treated him almost like my boyfriend. I think I gave an impression I want something more. He was staying with me over night. We cuddled. Talked about us, our life's. We joked. I genuinely started to like him more. The last night we were together, it went all fine. More than that. Me unaware during sex, I said to him, I love him....Cringe lol . I quicky changed it..and said, I love what he is doing.
It just came out...
Anyway...the next meet, he acted funny and we didn't meet. Then the convo was awkward, and I think he might had freaked out, even though. ..he was giving me hints he wants something more?
Eventually, I told him, I started to catch feelings and I don't want it and I ended it. He got angry and blocked me.

Fast forward, two months later. I texted him. I wanna see him ( no judging pls-cant help myself) and he agreed like nothing happened. He asked me, if it's ok for me to see him and there will be no feelings involved? I said, yes.

I felt I'm over him. However, when I met him, I felt awkward. He though acted like nothing. But he said to me later, that he acted like that, so it doesn't make the things awkward between us as he wanted to see me.

We have been chatting on WhatsApp like the best buddies since. Share great jokes, sex is amazing, etc.etc. However, I often wonder what would it be like if we date in real life.
We had some convos on WhatsApp and randomly he says things a boyfriend would say.
Also, I told him the other day, I don't like having Fwb type of friendship really as they end up usually bad . One person gets hurt normally. His response was..I should not be afraid of feelings. They're natural. He gets them too?? I said I'm not afraid of feelings but the consequences and impact on my life it will have. He said nothing after that.

Then he says random things like our babies would be beautiful , if we had one or he was going to buy me a chocolate he likes very much the other day. I feel so confused, especially after I told him , few months ago I was feeling something towards him. Why is he teasing me?

I don't know if he is playing with me or what? Or he wants something more?

He has never been in a real relationship. He said in the past he wants to settle down and not mess about anymore as he is getting old.

I find him quite genuine normally. We shared lots of intimate things between us, so I don't know...anyone in the same situation?
Any advise would be appreciated. Thank you

OP posts:
Summer2424 · 06/02/2023 22:11

Hi @Friendsf just read your post, absolutely no judgment from me. I'm just trying to think what i would do. I think i would go with the flow tbh but if you would like to be in a relationship then i think maybe cool it off with him to make space for someone else in your life who would like to be in a relationship.
Hope things workout for you x

B1rd · 07/02/2023 07:01

As it is currently, you are struggling with this FWB because you've developed feelings. It sounds like you've both stepped over boundaries of a FWB. You seem to be struggling with this and think that ending it is for the best.

So, why not have an honest conversation between you and tell him that you'd like something more than a FWB with him. The worst he can say is no, but you've not lost anything because you're potentially going to end it anyway. He could say he feels something more for you too.

Amaranth22 · 11/02/2023 08:13

This guy is emotionally unavailable and nothing you can do will change that. He has to want to be available and that’s on him.

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