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Original poster

Guys- Hand over mouth

21 replies

yerinpp · 31/01/2023 10:20

Name changed here just encase. DP likes to put his hand over my mouth during sex sometimes. Particularly in doggy. I'm not the loudest so unsure why he would do this. Haven't asked yet but tempted to. Wanted to get some views?

OP posts:
Rieslinger · 31/01/2023 10:24

Well I'm guessing he's not being rough with you? If it's gentle hand and you don't mind....?

Definitely ask him as it might be something that will get you a little hot and bothered!

DGConsultant · 31/01/2023 11:24

Personally I love doggy, but I'd never do that to a prospective partner. If you don't enjoy, definitely raise, something that should be discussed prior to any fun beginning. I really enjoy my partner being vocal and for me to hear her, so I'd not be tempted to put my hand over her mouth, unless to muffle if we'd like to be quiet for some specific reason.

MarcoVanBastard · 31/01/2023 12:27

It's a power thing maybe, which can be hot if you're both into it. There's only one way to find out though surely. Just ask him.

yorkshireteabagman · 31/01/2023 14:02

Not something I would do personally. I would ask, it sounds like you're not into it if you're querying

MaxTalk · 31/01/2023 15:40

He's been watching porn.

Judeisnotobscure · 31/01/2023 16:02

I think anything outside the realm of ‘vanilla sex’ needs to be discussed and consented to. It’s a dom move, which is totally fine as long as he has your consent and abides by mutually agreed aftercare. Otherwise it’s just demeaning.

Zanatdy · 31/01/2023 17:19

Maybe a power thing? My bf puts his hands around my neck quite often, which I know for some would be a hard no, but I’m ok with it. He’s never put his hand over my mouth, I’m not very vocal, though make all the right noises apparently. Ask him, ask him am I too loud? Is that why you do it, or something else

Original poster
yerinpp · 31/01/2023 17:42

I think it's a power thing. He pulls my hair slightly which I don't mind he has just never really engaged in this sort of thing before.

I am wondering if it was something to just hold or grasp while he was 'finishing' as that's when it happened! I'll ask him if happens again, it's not a deal breaker.

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 31/01/2023 17:50

yerinpp · 31/01/2023 17:42

I think it's a power thing. He pulls my hair slightly which I don't mind he has just never really engaged in this sort of thing before.

I am wondering if it was something to just hold or grasp while he was 'finishing' as that's when it happened! I'll ask him if happens again, it's not a deal breaker.

It will be power / rough sex. My bf pulls my hair too, quite hard sometimes and I sometimes have to pull his hand off a bit. I like it, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes it tips over from sexy to bloody painful!

Zanatdy · 31/01/2023 17:51

I’d be a bit wary if this is new behaviour. My bf has always been a bit rough at times since the 2nd time (probably on his best behaviour 1st time). When men start doing things differently sexually can often be a reason. Cheating or more porn use?

Original poster
yerinpp · 31/01/2023 18:09

@Zanatdy he has done it just once or twice in the past and then stopped and now started again more than ever. Agree with the bloody painful part 😆

OP posts:
Original poster
yerinpp · 31/01/2023 18:09

And yes it's usually more so when it's rough sex only. Most of the time we can be vanilla!!

OP posts:
StarlightLady · 31/01/2023 18:20

Control, control and control! Any man who tried that with me would believe a man could fly. And it would not be voluntary.

OP, if you were happy with him doing this, you would not be posting.

AbsolutePixels · 31/01/2023 19:23

Is he obstructing your air supply, OP? I hope this hand on mouth thing isn't a preamble to him properly choking you.

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/strangulation-rough-sex-domestic-abuse-bill-study-a9548936.html

AbsolutePixels · 31/01/2023 19:27

This kind of sexual behaviour is a huge red flag.

The only man who ever tried this shit on me had a police history for strangling his ex. When I dumped him he sent me an angry text saying that he was going to 'cut off my air supply'.

Hijinks75 · 31/01/2023 19:49

Don’t understand why you would need to do that, certainly wouldn’t do it to my oH

Original poster
yerinpp · 31/01/2023 21:12

@AbsolutePixels not obstructing air supply- not covering my nose just mouth. Seems to help him 'finish' I don't know ... it's hot for us both but not something he has always done and now it seems to be all the time so just wondered what goes through a mind really.

OP posts:
Rieslinger · 01/02/2023 09:16

Talk to him, share your concerns and what's hot and not then if it is something he likes find the middle ground, good luck!

MaxTalk · 01/02/2023 09:20

This is pure fantasy stuff - rough sex in porn, it's fairly "common".

If you enjoy it then fine but if he pushes his luck, be prepared to put him back in his box very firmly and expect him to be embarrassed...

Judeisnotobscure · 01/02/2023 09:23

@AbsolutePixels how frightening for you. I am so glad you are free from him now. Respect and consent should be the absolute baseline for any relationship

PinotPony · 01/02/2023 09:34

It's almost certainly about him enjoying an element of control. Fine if you're both happy with it but you do need to have a conversation about boundaries.

One of my partners will place his hand over my mouth and nose during sex but it is edge play, it's dangerous. So we discussed it at length first.

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