Female Lubrication

[Luckyclover7]

When I have sex with my husband he says that my down below is quite dry. I have no issues reaching the desired level if the foreplay is raunchy enough, I feel like I need more to get to this point.

Is it a misconception that a women should just be ready and lubricated the minute her man looks at her?

He said he’s never had this issue before and I feel a little hurt to be honest. I’m in my 30s, so I wanted to know if the issue lies with me and if I should just be lubricated enough at any given time for immediate intercourse?

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If you've found this page in your search of orgasm gels and orgasm lubes that have been recommended by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best orgasm gels useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

Outside chance this is genuine but this sounds like a troll post, like a nan may post if he wants to get off on hearing about women lubing up.

'My down below'????

*man. Not a nan

It’s definitely real, I just didn’t want to be overly crude if that makes sense as it’s a sensitive subject! 🫣

It’s an age thing, a personal thing, a cycle thing, a time of day thing and an arousal thing. Buy lube and use it when you need and not when you don’t. However don’t let lube replace foreplay!!! If your partner isn’t starting your engine as you’d like tell him!

Don't overthink this & worry. Just buy some lube (from the supermarket or Amazon) and use it with DH. It will be really easy to introduce, as DH has mentioned it, so just produce the lube and say shall we try this?

(Medically, vaginal secretions vary for lots of reasons, where you are in cycle etc, but medications like antihistamines can reduce secretions, too).

It's a myth that women should be soaking when they're ready for sex. Everyone is different, it's no reflection on you or on him. Get some lube if you need it - and don't bother if you don't!

Thank you for the information, there’s some information I wasn’t aware of which is helpful. We do have lube and use this occasionally, but I’m unsure if this whole topic hurts his ego or something and wondered given what he’s said of past experiences if I’m abnormal and have an issue. I’m not on medication of any sort, it was more of a question of are women just always ready at any given time as I feel I need that physical interaction/foreplay first.

He shouldn't be comparing you to other women and nor should you. I'd imagine there's a huge variation that depends on all sorts of things. The point is that YOU need more stimulation than he's giving to be ready for sex. So the problem is him.

Personally I wouldn't be having sex with anyone who wasn't prepared to have lots of foreplay first. Nothing to do with wetness and all to do with the fact I don't orgasm from PIV. Everyone is different and it sounds like the problem here is that he isn't putting in enough effort.

Dry sex can't be much fun for you either surely? Forget buying lube and tell him what you want him to do to get you wet.

Plenty of oral before insertion can be a great help. Forget about damaging egos though, it's about what is comfortable and all women, as well as being unique, can vary greatly during their cycle. If you are more comfortable with lube, go for it.

Playfully give your DH a slap for being insensitive whilst also telling him that you both need to work harder at getting you ready, your body and both of yours Jiggy Jiggy time.

Lubey loo too

Good luck!

Everyone's different, but I've never known a woman not get sufficiently wet naturally with a reasonable amount of foreplay. Even passionate kissing is often enough stimulation. "Immediate intercourse" suggests minimal foreplay?

Tell him you've never had this issue before either - so it must be him/his lack of getting you turned on that's causing it.

Either he puts more effort in, or you use lube if you've both happy to. But it sounds like he's not happy with either of those, and the only other alternative is not to have penetrative sex.

Cheshirebloke has not been sleeping with me then!! I am like the fucking Sahara desert if you try it on at 2am or at a certain point in my monthly cycle. The most wonderful foreplay in the world won’t get the juice flowing then. To be fair normally I’d not be that interested in sex at those times anyway but if I am willing to go for it then the lube is essential.

i’d tell him that women aren’t always just ready for sex and usually require a certain amount of foreplay beforehand. I never have any issues when I first have sex with my bf and he’s very good at foreplay and not in the least bit a selfish lover, but when we have sex a few times in one evening / morning (still in the honeymoon phase of relationship) I can definitely feel a bit dry. He said I think we need some different types of lube which I’m glad he did as I definitely think we do too. No reflection on any of us, sometimes I don’t want a long foreplay anyway (ie morning sex) so happy for a bit of lube then but otherwise I don’t want that to replace a nice build up.

I've always thought that the word "foreplay" is inappropriate. It is all part of sex, an important part. As long as the male mind things it is something lesser and not important, the longer such problems will persist.

That made me laugh 😂

I always use a natural oil
it feels better , can massage it in and minimises friction risk

there’s no shame in it
and can’t you ask him to massage you ?