Why natural family planning made my sex life better

[KinkyMom]

I want to start by pre-facing that this method has its own risks and it's not for everyone. For instance if you or your partner have polycystic ovarian syndrome or hashimotos or essentially anything that causes a hormonal instance and unusually unpredictable periods it's probably not going to work for you.

I started my NFP journey when I found out that my birth control was not only killing my sex drive but also causing me to have crippling depression.

I accidentally quite birth control and had to switch to condoms because I had no insurance and I had to have my nexplanon removed.

At the time I thought this move was going to make my marriage more complicated because my husband was already starting to question of I was sexually attracted to him. My we were both so wrong.

Within a week my sex drive came back full swing. And my husband was no longer left questioning. 😆 but there was a snag. We both really hard condoms and at this point I didn't even want to consider going back on hormonal birth control every again as it had nearly destroyed my marriage. My husband agreed that the alternative was definitely worse.

So I buried my head in research research research! I was struggling because everything seemed risky. But there was one method that stood out but I was weary of it. And it was natural family planning. My mind went to the infamous rhythm method and thought... No that is a terrible idea! It would never work for us. But found that there was another more modern method. The (TCOYF) Taking Charge of your fertility method. Mostly it was catholics promoting this for religious reasons.

I had a medical purpose preventing me from using HBC (hormonal birth control) though so I was not sure how reliable this would be. But the more I researched it the more it made sense. And the timing to experiment with a risky birth control method was perfect for us. As we were at a time in our marriage where it may not have been ideal to become pregnant but we would not have been mad about it either!

So we got experimental! There was something both enjoyable and terrible about experimenting like this because it takes a huge amount of trust for both partners. My husband had to trust that I knew exactly what I was doing and what was happening to my body. I had to read the TCOYF book cover to cover twice. There was some math involved and 3 months leading up to this of me religiously logging my cycles and fertility signs. And I had to trust that if I became pregnant that I was comfortable with it happening with him.

The first time we had 100% unprotected sex it was intimate in a way I had never experienced. We giggled like teenagers losing our virginity it was happy and free and after months of using condoms it was a relief!

But there was another moment that made me really love NFP as a method of birth control. It was the fact that I was now well aware of when I was fertile and the exact moment when I ovulated. And originally I thought we would simply avoid these days. But I took the power of nature and it's drive to push is to have sex completely for granted. Not only was I so horny during this time that I thought I might lose my mind but it also was different during my infertile times and very different than when I was on HBC.

In fact I stated to pity women who have never experienced sex off HBC.

There's just something so much better about ovulation sex. Yes we have to use condoms but oooooohhh. It's so so much better! It's risky but it's worth it. First off my cervix becomes nice and springy like a trampoline I'm wetter and it glides easier and orgasms are mind blowing and easier to achieve with little to no effort. In fact the first time I experienced it my eyes watered it was so good. Literally tears sliding down my face with happiness.

You see, through my research and real life experience I discovered that, when women are infertile our cervix hardens, our vagina gets shorter and our cervical fluid (not the same as arousal fluid mind you!) which aids in penetration gets thinner and sometimes goes away completely. During my infertile times sex while still enjoyable can be a little bit uncomfortable. My guy is pretty well endowed so he has to go a bit more shallow and my cervix not being the bouncy spring board it is during my ovulation days becomes something he can't bounce off of with as much enthusiasm.

So my husband was even starting to take note at this point! We both are happy that we get our condom free sex fix for half the month but even be couldn't deny that there were benefits for him during my ovulation days now.

I used to feel conflicted about this because it's certainly the riskiest time. But I started anticipating it every month. It's like clock work for my body. I ovulate on the 17th day of my cycle every month and it is 4 days of blissful mind blowing unapologetically wild horny sex!

I will never ever go back on birth control. My entire perspective on life and sex has changed. I see birth control as this horrible oppressive monster that wants to steal not only my happiness and marriage but also really really good orgasms!

My eyes have opened and I never want to mess with mother nature's design of my body again. 😭

Oh and for those that are curious. We've successfully been using this method for 6 years now. We used it successfully for two years to avoid sex and then used it to become pregnant. Breastfeeding made it tricky to work with street giving birth for a bit. But I was still able to accurately track and avoid pregnancy! So we are sticking with it for life I think. It's nice to know when my periods are late. And I was also able to detect my pregnancy before the pregnancy tests were showing up as positive. 😊

Avoid pregnancy * sorry! Lol

We decided from the start that we didn't want to go down the hormonal contraceptive route and for the first few years of marriage used a fertility monitor. I'm racking my brains to remember the name of it, but it was nearly twenty six years ago....

Your experience rings bells with me entirely. We used condoms during her ovulation period (which never particularly bothered us) or sometimes had sex in different ways. But it was incredibly hot sex. DW would often have multiple orgasms and sometimes made suggestions that took my breath away. I won't go into detail but it was a very enjoyable few days of the month!

And it was lovely to be condom free for the rest of the time.

I personally have the temp drop and love it. There are a few others but can't think of them off the top of my head.

Persona! That was the one. Thank heavens I remembered.

Anyway, it was great.

No one ever talks much about natural methods much and they seem a bit frowned upon. Your story has given me something to think about though. Thanks for sharing!

I think it's only appropriate if you're both ok to accept the risk of pregnancy, because it's not the most reliable method of birth control. You also both have to have a lot of self control to not start taking risks and let the horn take charge at the wrong moment.

I know a couple who used this method reliably for years. But despite being careful they eventually fell pregnant. Twice.

There are many different types of hormonal birth control, and some people get on better than others with the different types. So I don't think it's right to just rule them all out because one type didn't work well for you.

It was not just one type that did not work. I have been through many many birth controls. Either way I shouldn't have to explain myself. It works for my husband and I.

I find your comment very dismissive and very presumptive though. Why should I change what I do because you you don't like it because you know one random couple that made those choices? Many people following NFP sometimes follow what they call not trying and not avoiding. (Let's not get into this debate because I don't necessarily think it makes much sense either. I believe you're either trying or you are not) I doubt they go around giving the entire community an update when that status changes. I certainly would not. But even if we did take those risks why is that wrong and why would anyone care? It's my body and my rules is it not? If we are fine with those risks is that such a tragic thing?

I'm not promoting those to anyone who is not in a committed relationship. Although after practicing it successfully for years I think it could work for some people who aren't so long as they use condoms.

I don't want medication in my body anymore. I like what we do. It makes me happy. And I am not going to experiment with medication anymore. There were some very big consequences for myself. They are consequences I'm not willing to take anymore.

I just wanted to throw another non-condom, non-hormonal method out there: the copper IUD. Super reliable, and once it’s in you can forget about it. For me it’s the perfect contraception!

That's great. I did consider this but sadly I am allergic to copper. But I think it's a fantastic option for people who aren't allergic. 😌

It's actually more reliable than many people think. Studies have trouble reliably tracking the accuracy of it though because you can change your mind on the fly, couples who are more comfortable with risks than other couples and the combinable of human error. Not to mention it's usually a very niche group of people who follow it and there's several different methods. The last study on it wasn't even appropriate because they mixed samples such as sensiplan, TCOYF, and even the rhythm method which is from the 50's! Which is not right. They all follow very different rules. The study was biased and clearly had an agenda on the table.

I think being able to change your mind on the fly isn't necessarily a bad thing though. Why would it be?

I honestly think every woman should understand how to track her fertility. There's a lot of myths that need to be dispelled about these methods. A surprising fact for me was one of the biggest factors was understanding how sperm survives in the woman's body and for how long.

Been practicing nfp for 10 years with no babies or pregnancy and yes we do have two dc. Love the natural feeling and it certainly improved her sex drive to come off the pill