Sex hurts.

[christmasmagic]

Sex always seems to hurt in majority of positions... the more turned on I am the more bearable the pain is ... it is ignorable most of the time... but I feel like the only time I'm guaranteed comfort is missionary. I don't know if it's because of me and my shape inside or if I'm just not turned on enough? I am bored of our sex life, it's only lasts 5-10 mins and it's always the same thing I tell him what gets me going but he doesn't bother ever listening... it's just boring every single time... he gets offended if I want to "spice it up" or suggest things that turn me on or even small requests like asking him to say things to me once in a while (dirty talk) he always says if I love him it shouldn't matter how we have sex I should enjoy it all the same... but in all honesty it's not doing anything for me anymore... and it's hard to know if thats why it hurts?

Hi,I’m a man so not able to help on matters of your internal anatomy, but I’ve never known that to be an issue. It sounds to me like he isn’t really turning you on enough and isn’t prepared to be making it better for you. You need to find a way to communicate how to get him to do the things you like, lots of foreplay, oral. His comment about you should just enjoy it if you love him is bollocks, that’s just selfish

First thing to do is try using lubricant. A water based one should prevent any irritation. If the pain continues I would consider visiting the doctors as it could be something as simple as thrush with no other symptoms present.

Have you tried using lube? Maybe you’re not turned on enough given his lack of effort in making things better for you. Guess he won’t listen to a more foreplay request?

If you fancy a man, believe me you’ll be like Niagra Falls. I was in the same position as you with my husband and, eventually, it drifted into a sexless marriage (for many years) as I just couldn’t be bothered putting in on anymore. Sex was boring with him.

It took another man to turn on my tap and, my goodness, did I wake up. Marriage ended btw…obviously.

It sounds like your body is saying "no".. lube might help for a bit but if it's an ongoing issue that's unlikely to change (sounds that way) then it won't be long before your muscles join in and penetration just won't be possible.

Thanks for the responses, I think lube is a great suggestion. I really think the likely hood of the pain is my body just saying 'no' like ones suggested... I am attracted to my boyfriend we've been together 8 years, and our sex life used to be fantastic! Trying things keeping it exciting etc. but we've gone from having a happy fulfilling sex life to later in our relationship to once a month if that... so now it just feels awkward? And all of what I've said previously... he just isn't interested in "getting me going" anymore... I'm not saying every time we have sex it has to be "raunchy" there's nothing wrong with standard "vanilla" but when it's the same routine every single time and just no thought of what I actually like it kills my mood... I've tried to tell him I miss sexting when we're away working etc because that used to turn me on and kinda get my body heated for later but he just says it's daft and he doesn't get it, and it doesn't do anything for him because it's just a text so he refuses to even entertain the idea.

I'm just fed up of it, I'm literally in my 20's and he's aged our sex life as though we were in our 80s and I have no doubt there's many 80 year olds out there having better sex than me 😂 ...

Every time I try to mention what I would like to do he try's to make me feel guilty and starts saying I'm only not happy because I don't fancy him etc but it couldn't be further from the truth... if I didn't "fancy" him then I wouldn't want to do these things with him! Urg.