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Mens opinion

18 replies

Tron80 · 03/01/2023 18:50

I work with a guy, we are friends, i am fairly sure we are attracted to each other. Eye contact /nervousness etc. But, i really do not know! I was talking to him to him recently and in general conversation , i bit my lower lip ( something i genuinely do when i am nervous- have done all my life) and /or I fancy someone , without realising i am doing it. I genuinely genuinely did not do this on purpose, it was involuntary. He immediately clocked it and then instantaneously turned his head away to the left for about 2-3 seconds, then he turned his head back to look at me. He looked a bit shell shocked to be honest. I have been wondering what his very immediate /reaction momentary head turn away means? It was just such an immediate reaction. I am worried i have offended him in some way. I have seen him since this and all fine. I just need to understand what that reaction was all about.

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Cathyisvegetarian · 03/01/2023 18:54

Depending on the job/positions just ask. Any of that could mean anything.

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Tron80 · 03/01/2023 18:58

Yes, that is ideally why i would like a male perspective. I am thinking in same vein as you- hence I am confused.

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Kenny69 · 03/01/2023 22:12

I can only imagine that

  1. he doesn’t like seeing people biting their own face
  2. he fancies the pants of you and was in shock


have you talked to him since?
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PotteringPondering · 03/01/2023 22:35

In my experience, most men pay far less attention to body language and 'What might she be thinking? What does that gesture mean?' type questions than women do.

My honest view is that him turning his head at that moment probably meant nothing at all. Especially since all seems to have been fine since.

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Tron80 · 03/01/2023 22:53

@Kenny69 Yes, but just normal chit chat. He remembers things i have told him though. There is an awkwardness on occasion. Sometimes we pass each other during the day, say nothing but do this eye contact thing. Other times we are very comfortable with each other and colleague's view us as very good friends. He blows a bit hot and cold sometimes but is a nice guy.

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Zanatdy · 04/01/2023 07:00

Sounds like he’s interested, maybe it turned him wild! I’ve recently started seeing someone I used to work with a few years ago. We always had some chemistry and chatted a lot. He has since said he was so close to asking me out pre covid, and he did joke about going somewhere to see something, so I believe that. He’s told me about things I said when chatting that turned him on etc so I suspect that if same happened with you, then this guy would find the lip biting a big turn on! Is he single? Wish I’d have flirted a bit more with my guy as I knew he was interested, it was obvious, but he was a bit scared I’d say no. Anyway loving it now, we finally got together

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PinotPony · 04/01/2023 07:15

I think you're massively overanalysing! "He turned his head away to the left for 2-3 seconds"?! How is anybody meant to know what that "means"?

Stop faffing about and just ask him out. "Hey, would you like to have a drink or a bite to eat one evening next week?" Easy! 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Kenny69 · 04/01/2023 07:26

PotteringPondering · 03/01/2023 22:35

In my experience, most men pay far less attention to body language and 'What might she be thinking? What does that gesture mean?' type questions than women do.

My honest view is that him turning his head at that moment probably meant nothing at all. Especially since all seems to have been fine since.

Yes, most of that goes over mens heads, we (tend ), to like direct questions 😂

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Kenny69 · 04/01/2023 07:28

Tron80 · 03/01/2023 22:53

@Kenny69 Yes, but just normal chit chat. He remembers things i have told him though. There is an awkwardness on occasion. Sometimes we pass each other during the day, say nothing but do this eye contact thing. Other times we are very comfortable with each other and colleague's view us as very good friends. He blows a bit hot and cold sometimes but is a nice guy.

So is he single and do you like him ? , if so ask him out.

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Sens · 04/01/2023 08:20

I can confirm that guys often don’t pay attention to body language. Chatting to women many years later they have told me that they were really interested and I had no clue!
If he didn’t like you, he wouldn’t be like this, just take this further! 🙂

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PunkStrumpet · 04/01/2023 10:58

Lower lip biting in a flirtatious situation would have blood rushing to all kinds of places if I was into you, including the face.

If I was in his situation I'd definitely have had to turn away if we were still in the early stages!

Try it again, even better if you have a pair of glasses to look at him over while you do it...?

goes for a cold shower

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Boatingforthestars · 04/01/2023 12:17

Personally I doubt I'd have even noticed...
He may have noticed and felt awkward but that still doesn't mean he isn't in to you.

Men are generally uncomplicated, if you like him and he's single suggest a drink.
If he's intrested he'll say yes or atleast make an effort to arrange it.
If he's not intrested he'll make some excuse and and avoid mentioning it again.

Good luck

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vg101 · 04/01/2023 14:36

As a bloke this reads as someone who is just as nervous in this situation as you are. If I was talking to a woman I quite fancy and the conversation was slightly flirty and she did the lip bite thing, I'd be looking away to try and hide a blush, that would've completely driven me mad as it can be hot as hell. It is difficult but bite the bullet and go for it.

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yorkshireteabagman · 04/01/2023 15:07

I doubt it means something unless you squinted eyes at the same time 😁

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Iloveabaconbutty · 04/01/2023 15:39

It's been a long while and I've been happily married for years but I still remember the thrill of excitement of my young, free and single days of my teens and twenties when there was unspoken interaction - glances, smiles etc between me and girls where there was mutual attraction.

I'd say this: if he wasn't into you he won't have noticed the lip biting and his turning away is coincidental. So you've nothing to worry about what he thinks etc (not that you should worry anyway). If he is into you he definitely will have noticed because he'll be hyper aware of all your expressions.

Along with the other things you say the fact that he looked away to me suggests he noticed and he's into you. In fact it will have added to his attraction to you. As others have mentioned lip biting combined with a glance in his direction can send out a very sexy signal to a man.

You don't mention if either of you are married/already partnered up which would put a different perspective on things altogether. But if you're both free and single (as it sounds like to me you are) and you fancy him, as others have said there's only one way to find out if the feeling is mutual. Ask him out!

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Tron80 · 04/01/2023 18:48

Thank you, I just needed to understand that what I was sensing, may actually be there. It may well be. I am experienced enough to read the signs but, just wanted to be sure in my own mind. I cannot ask him out, I am not confident enough. If it went wrong, I would be mortified and I love my job so, would not leave. It is that ultimately , that holds me back.

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NoDatingForOldMen · 04/01/2023 19:12

Tron80 · 04/01/2023 18:48

Thank you, I just needed to understand that what I was sensing, may actually be there. It may well be. I am experienced enough to read the signs but, just wanted to be sure in my own mind. I cannot ask him out, I am not confident enough. If it went wrong, I would be mortified and I love my job so, would not leave. It is that ultimately , that holds me back.

He probably feels the same as you, the fear of rejection is just as much a thing for men you know, we (men) are not without feelings

rather then asking him out, you almost need to engineer a situation where you allow him to ask you out

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Tron80 · 04/01/2023 19:40

@NoDatingForOldMen yes, I am already busing myself engineering away!

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