Men watching porn

[lucyandmike]

Ladies do you mind you man watching porn at all? I knew my hubby watched some now and again but he recently told me it's actually a lot more, especially since COVID lockdown and he has been watching it most days for some time. I assume he probably also needs to masturbate when he has been watching it. It really doesn't seem to bother me but I'm wondering if his viewing has become a little too much?

Does it affect your sex life? If he is watching it and masturbating rather than giving you attention then yes its a problem and he is watching it too much.

If it doesn't affect how often you have sex and he isn't watching anything that you find offensive then I would say let him get on with it

OH knows I watch porn, she works nights , I always tell her there’s nothing worth watching on tv and she will say I’m sure you’ll find something,doesn’t seem to bother her, sometimes when we both in she will actually say find something to watch, usually means find some porn we can both watch which leads to great sex

My husband has an extremely high sex drive, and He is on testosterone replacement even though he is only 35 years old. If my husband didn’t watch porn I think he would explode. We have some kind of sex pretty much every night, and twice a day when he is not working at the weekends. He still watches porn and masturbates most days too. It doesn’t bother me at all and it has no negative effect on our sex.

My new bf watches porn, not all the time and now he’s getting regular sex maybe less. But I have no problem with it at all. I guess if it’s impacting on your own sex life then it can be a problem. If I didn’t know already he watched porn before I had sex with him (and I did know as he’s very open, which I like, as means I can be open back) I definitely would have suspected after having sex with him as I could tell!

My objection is that how it has warped ideas of what is normal in sex, and particularly that young men pressurise women into sexual acts or behaviour they are uncomfortable with.

No issues from me, he doesn’t expect our sexlife to be the same so it’s defo not an issue. He defo knows I’m not as flexible as some of the women in porn. He still gets turned on my me daily so it’s not interfering.

I don't mind as it does not affect our sex life negatively at all. We have talked about it a good few times and he has a very high sex drive, which he says he has always had, and he's been masturbating daily for a long time to take care of this. It doesn't bother me at all if he likes to watch porn while he is doing it.

I don't like the idea of monitoring someone else's life, what they watch/ do with their time etc. Most people I know watch porn and my relationships have never had issues because of this. A lot of MN have a problem with it but I've had some great kinky ideas from watching it 🤣

I’m relaxed about what people do providing it has no negative impact.

Don't mind it as I use it too but as long as it doesn't affect sex life and as long as he's not into teens etc. Definitely don't like onlyfans or following people on instagram etc.

My DH is sex mad
He watches porn, almost always Cuks porn and often asks me to watch but I decline
I do watch about once or twice a month more like once and it is always a mature woman like me with a younger guy and hubby watching - we enjoy afterwards but DH and IMO most men are sex mad and women a lot less so

I've never watched porn by myself on the net but used to read DH mags before the net the stories turned me on

Men are sex mad on the whole

Men are sex mad, yes that's the narrative we all seem to see but since coming on mumsnet I see so many posts from women who are despairing at their husband/partner not wanting sex so there are many men out there with little/no sex drive.

Whilst I have a higher sex drive than my DW I am far from the norm.

If we all spent time in our relationships working on connection and intimacy I think we might find the supposed gulf is smaller than people think.

Whether it's one partner or another having a higher perceived libido when we properly connect (once having differentiated) we might find much more meeting in the middle.

We both watch porn and still have a very fulfilling active sex life. He doesn’t watch anything I really find offensive. Sometimes we watch porn together and giggle awkwardly like silly teenagers. It’s fun and usually leads up to actual sex. I suppose if that’s all he did and he ignored me completely then yes it would bother me. But truthfully it enhances our sexual experience rather than taking away from it. I would say he only watched it maybe once or twice a month though so it’s not a chronic condition by any means. I watch it once or twice a week.

We have an active sex life, usually every day, and I’m pretty sure DH looks at porn but it has no impact on our sex life or his devotion to me. I looked at some porn myself recently, when I hadn’t looked at anything for years. I actually find it really difficult to find anything that I find erotic. I guess sex and orgasms is so strongly linked to my relationship that a lot of porn seems sad and empty in comparison. I prefer reading erotic stories online but again it can be difficult to find anything good. In the end I find my own imagination is way more exciting.

How do you get over / ignore the ethical problems and misogyny?

I don't watch porn. It does nothing for me.
Agree with@HarperHelper that porn just seems empty by comparison with real, passionate, hot sex with another human being.

I love sex hugely, always have, I'm no prude and DW and I manage to have it as much as a busy tiring life allows. But porn? Meh. Leaves me cold. And I'm a man. Am I unusual?

And I agree with @DoomedForLoneliness re: concerns about ethics and who it is exactly the performers are. I watched a Louis Theroux program a couple of years ago about the porn industry and some of the girls that featured looked so vulnerable and manipulated by dreadful older men. It wasn't erotic, it was sickening. Also how much "amateur porn" is private stuff uploaded without the consent of one or other people featured?

I'm aware that there is "ethical porn", and "women friendly porn" where there is full consent it's all carefully regulated and the actors are well-paid, etc. and I'm sure that's true.

But it's still not for me. I'd rather have a cup of tea and a good book.

"I love sex hugely, always have, I'm no prude and DW and I manage to have it as much as a busy tiring life allows. But porn? Meh. Leaves me cold. And I'm a man. Am I unusual?"@Iloveabaconbutty

No, I'm a bloke and since my mid 30s I've been the same. It's just watching other dudes get their end away and showing you what you're missing out on.

Ex was never into it either, I used to ask him to watch it with me sometimes, or go use it if I wasn't in the mood. He said it was useful when he was younger but as an adult he'd rather wait for the real thing.
Loads of men like that.

Very interesting. My husband has watched porn since his teens and has probably been watching it every day for years. I don't mind but he had said for a while that he wanted to cut back on his porn use as it had become a habit and possibly addiction.

He went on Sertraline for general anxiety over a year ago after a few months found that, not so much his sex drive, but his urge to masturbate and watch porn was reduced a lot, like he just didn't think about it anywhere near as much. In some ways this has been an interesting and useful side effect for him.