Fantasising about NOT DH!!!

[Yazi4321]

Hi everyone
Ive been married about 6 years, love my DH to bits. I’m early 30s, feel good and look good but the sex I have with my husband is so boring. Same thing, super quick and no satisfaction for me at all. He cums and that’s it and I’m just left (this has been going on for about a year) to the point now when we have sex I think great….
BUT the sex is just so rubbish I’m having to sort my self out a good few times a week. The worst thing is, there’s been some sexual tension with me and a guy (he’s married too & has offered the proposition of sneaky sex but I declined). I don’t think his sex life is great and he’s a very good looking and tempting guy and now when I sort myself out I fantasise of him doing all the things he told me he wants to do! I know this isn’t great but what do I do! I’m so sexually unsatisfied and now temptation is there but I don’t want to go there but I just feel like bleh! Spoken to DH re sex life - he isn’t interested!

Any children?

Nope

You need to be very clear with your husband that your sex life is important and is currently not good enough, and that you're going to work together to improve it or he's on the road out of here, love him to bits or not.

You posted this on relationships, no? And got lots of advice.

These topics always piss me off, there's always such a double standard in terms of responses in these situations when it's a woman in a sexless relationship versus a man.

If you aren't happy or sexually compatible then communicate with your partner, if they can't offer what you desire you have three options

Do nothing and be miserable forever
Suggest an open relationship
Leave and try to meet someone else

End it. Take it from someone who didn’t and accepted it before it drifted into a sexless marriage (of over a decade, sexless I mean). I also ended up with a married man. Big mistake but it showed me what true passion was really like and that I’d missed out on that.

Older and wiser, my older self is very critical of my younger self. I didn’t do anything and nothing changed. In fact, things got worse.

Sometimes it has to be accepted that some people don’t have any sexual chemistry between them but for those who do…WOW!!! Amazing! It is my biggest regret that I didn’t do something sooner. I did end my marriage btw.

You are already fantasising about someone else! That is your subconscious telling you something. Listen.

If he won’t change then don’t hang around. You will really resent him in the end. If you stay with him and eg have kids you will probably have affair(s). I’m not judging but do you really want the hassle when you could’ve left as there aren’t any kids to worry about. Once you have a child it’s a lot more difficult

Yes 2nd this, when it comes to sex everything is the man’s fault
Not enough sex - man’s fault
crap sex - man’s fault

Women never want to take any responsibility for there own decisions

my wife libido has disappeared and she doesn’t care, so I’m leaving this year and it’s her fault and I’m beyond caring now.

@Yazi4321 if the sex is no good, leave, you are early 30’s, no kids take control of the situation and just leave and don’t look back

Why does it piss you off that a woman is sexually unsatisfied and fantasising about sex with another person. I thought it was quite normal to have fantasies even in happy relationships. It’s also quite normal for people who aren’t having sex to think about sex with others.

OP
It is a form of cheating
Leave and spare DH the misery.
you are both young, its not to late to re-start.
If my DH was doing that, I'd feel deceived.