"Ladies first"- no thanks!

[Artemi]

Just posting out of curiosity to see if there are other people like this

Once I've had an orgasm I totally lose interest in PIV sex. If I'm feeling in the right mood then sometimes happy to continue non-penetrative sex until my husband also has an orgasm if he hasn't yet, but generally I'm more interested in sleep/cuddles

This isn't an issue in our relationship as we therefore try to ensure my husband comes first if we're having penetrative sex. I do really enjoy PIV but I don't come from it so it's usually foreplay->PIV->my turn

However on a couple of recent AIBU threads about selfish male lovers the consensus seemed to be that "ladies first" is the standard ettiquette or "no orgasm no entry"

It made me realise that perhaps our way of doing this was uncommon!
My husband does joke that I'm like the stereotypical "man" who rolls over and falls asleep once he's done 😆

I haven't got the sort of friends I could ask and neither of us have previous experience so just wondering how common this is for women?

As a man who has always focused on ensuring my DW comes first we've recently changed things up a bit, end result is same in terms of order but it seems to add to her O quite a bit.

Tbh as long as you both get what you need then it's entirely up to you, if it works clock it but don't stop trying other ways cos you might always find another that either works better for you both or is something that means you can mix things up a bit.

Yeah the most important thing is that it works for us!

Recently did try again (I came "too soon" when we'd both been wanting PIV) but it was still a nope- no pain but I quickly lost interest so we stopped
Maybe I only enjoy it if I'm really revved up

@Artemi I tend to find the same as after shooting into the stratosphere with an orgasm I am so relaxed I can find it hard to keep going (unless it’s not late at night, we are not in a hurry and have plenty of time). So like you describe I prefer to wait after my husband, it works for us.

Also if you have a generous partner and know he wants to keep you satisfied you know he won’t lose interest and will always make sure you are taken care of. In fact I have never known my DH not to show interest, I swear he doesn’t have an “off” switch.

I'm another woman who loses interest almost immediately after an orgasm. I'd like to experience multiple orgasms, but there's no way I could keep going after the first. Partners have been fine with me telling them I don't want to come too early. Sex with a new partner should always have good communication about likes and dislikes anyway, so adding in a little caveat about my orgasm is no problem. "Etiquette" doesn't dictate my personal physiology.

I only cum from piv so it's normally first

I'm similar to you OP, except that I tend to lose interest after either of us has come! Although we both love PIV, neither of us is very into a long session of PIV - it's very much the relatively brief finale after all the other stuff - so we're generally both very 'close' by the time we have PIV. What works for us is mostly simultaneous orgasm (I don't come through PIV alone, so that usually means either him or me touching my clit while we fuck or while I give him a BJ), or sometimes him making me come first but only just first - eg if he makes me come with hands/tongue then he'll fuck me immediately after and come within a few seconds, before I come down from orgasm, because he's already very close - so I don't have time to lose interest IYSWIM. Works for us.

I cum from oral and but enjoy piv after if he uses his finger in the clit too 🤷‍♀️
Orgasms are like wine 🤣the more the merrier 😜

Nope, total opposite to you, in fact PIV is even better after an orgasm whether by oral or touching prior. Nothing leaves me non-plussed more than a man who just thinks a quick fumble to get the juices flowing, then dive in, will do - just no good enough.
Also, total opposite to a man, after an o, wide awake, no way can I sleep for a good while - though cuddles & hugs good, oxytocin and all that.

We are wife first - usually with her using a vibrator on herself while I masturbate to stay hard - then when her orgasm starts I get ready to penetrate her - she loves it when I'm inside and she is climaxing - good for me to because she is much tighter at the top of her vagina in the minutes after her orgasm and that quickly gets me to the point that I ejaculate. Both satisfied at the same time and ready for sleep.

I don't think what you experience is unusual. My first proper boyfriend used to almost always give me an orgasm from oral first. He was really good at it. But then penetrate me immediately (which was uncomfortable or even painful as I'd be all contracted from the orgasm) and then the PIV was just "for him" or so it felt. He'd bash away and I'd be thinking oh hurry up because I was uncomfortable and bored. I felt like PIV was something I had to put up with in return for my lovely oral orgasm.

Only when I later met my husband, who mixed it up a bit, did I realise I actually really enjoyed PIV if I was warmed up but hadn't orgasmed first. The first time I came from PIV was a really nice surprise. When we come at the same time is my absolute favourite.

My OH is older and slower, he gets me well aroused, changes position a few times, then increases the tempo, as I tense he will come which sends me over the top. Often its twice a week which is nice although my best orgasms are once a week

If that works for you go for it. As for us we do ladies first. Mostly because I really enjoy getting head and penetration feels better after. As for my husband he definitely doesn’t want to go down there when there is semen. So it just works for us. Sorry if that’s TMI!

My DW is the same as you OP. Once she's done, she's done! Her biggest wish is to turn over and go into a deep sleep. Like your husband I've sometimes pulled her leg that she's more like the stereotypical man, etc!

She does cum most often when we're doing PIV, which is really fantastic for both of us but can leaving me hanging if I've not I've not yet ejaculated and all she wants to go into a deep, snuggly doze. Which is great as well and I don't want to disturb her as she works hard, needs her sleep, etc. At the same time finishing myself off while she's fast asleep isn't quite so much fun...

But clearly me finishing first has the obvious disadvantage of me losing my erection and having to stop PIV and for her to orgasm another way.

The ideal is to cum simultaneously of course and it sometimes happens. But it's not a massive issue because we've found there are lots of nice things we can do to ensure mutual pleasure - DW bringing me off with her mouth and then vice-versa, and sometimes she's genuinely quite happy not to orgasm at all during PIV allowing me to cum inside her which is mutually satisfying and then we both go to sleep! It all seems to work out overall.

My DH is super generous and our sex life is great but like you, once I orgasm from PIV (but not if it’s from oral) I lose all interest! I have no idea why it happens because I am really enjoying myself. So I prefer that he comes first from PIV then he takes care of me, often while going for round two but once I have orgasmed from PIV we are done. The End 😂

Has to be my partner first for me. I just can't relax until I know he's got there, so either we both do or neither of us does.