My sex drive is so high compared to my DP

[iknowitalll]

So basically as the title says, my sex drive is so high compared to DP. I crave sex everyday, I often find my mind wandering thinking about sex but DP just isn't that bothered.

Don't get me wrong, when we have it it's brilliant and we're still averaging maybe twice a week but it's just not enough for me.

I had bad relationships sex wise before him and I did stress before we committed to each other that I have a high sex drive and bad / lack of sex would be a deal breaker for me. Well of course he was full of reassurance with the "oh no one could keep up with my sex drive either" "I have a high one too" and he kept it up for a few months, but now we're 3 years down the line it just isn't cutting it for me!

I would never dream of cheating, but I do often catch myself daydreaming about it. Just about one off, no feelings sex to satisfy myself.

I know it sounds so bad now I've written it down, but does any one else feel the same in their relationship?

For context, I'm 27 and he is 30 so it's not as if we're old, no medical conditions. Both slightly overweight but nothing dramatic. Has anyone got any suggestions on how to spice things up abit to make him want me more often? I'm desperate

Sorry, but I don’t think you can really do anything to make him want more sex than where his natural sex drive sits at ( which is probably at the twice a week level)

What about some shopping from places like Love Honey, Anne Summers etc. They do some advent calendars etc at this time of year. Maybe do a 12 days of Christmas thing, different toy etc every day. I mean won’t fix it long term but it would be fun no doubt

I am in a similar position to the point where it is only me who initiates and I have spent a fortune on toys.
It's not as easy as that and now I prefer to just take care of myself.

Try and get the twice up to thrice and fill in the gaps with a Doxy wand. It’s the most realistic solution.

Exploring fantasies together when you do can help, if you can tap into his it can open the floodgates...might take a while but there is nothing sexier and more giving than your DP being open and wanting to explore yours, good luck!!

Btw he might not even have any idea about some so you might have to fling out some ideas.

Have you ever suggested to your DP that he have his testosterone levels checked? Although to be fair, twice a week is pretty average so it’s not as if he’s never having sex. My husband is always willing and able so we usually have sex every day.

I am in the opposite situation ( www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4709088-how-to-cope-with-an-almost-sexless-marriage-can-counselling-really-help?page=1 ). My advice is: communication, communication, communication.

You need to sit down and be able to have an open, honest conversation with each other. If you struggle to do this, seek external help (eg couple counselling).

There could be a gazillion reason for his lower drive. Maybe he's going through some special stuff in his life. Maybe trouble at work. Maybe he feels intimidated by your drive. Maybe he resents you for other stuff.

You can't and shouldn't guess. You need to discuss it.