Feeling like I'm a turn off

[Blushingm]

Me & DP have good regular sex but I just can't help feeling my body must be a complete turn off to him

I have a really heavily stretch marked saggy tummy. DP has a wonderful body.

I can't help feeling so self conscious when he puts his hands on me - all I can think is that he's feeling fat and skin that feels so horrible because of all my stretch marks. I don't feel like I measure up at all. How can I stop these feelings/thoughts and let go and just enjoy?

What does your partner say when you express your worries? Because I would imagine because you're having "good regular sex", then he's thinks you're pretty amazing, gorgeous and wonderful!
Would lingerie which covers your stomach help you feel more comfortable?

His answer is always along the lines of 'I've seen, kissed or touched every inch of you many times, surely we are passed to stage of you having to worry about things'

I thought of lingerie but he likes touching......just wish my brain would stop making me think things

I am pleased you talk to your partner.
I tell my wife she is beautiful and I think.she is beautiful but as she had a mastectomy she says she is not good to look at.
If your partner loves you enjoy yourself.

My partner doesn't look like he belongs on a magazine cover. I think in comparison my body is a lot more stereotypically attractive.
Never bothered me. I like him the way he is. A few scars, a few curves, not one for the gym. I find him very sexually attractive just like that.
People just like who they like. The connection is what makes sex good.

My wife's dislike for her body has caused us various issues in the past. Like you, she can't understand how or why I find her sexually attractive. I tell her often that i love her body as it is, it still gives me the tingles when I see her naked, and I love feeling close to it.

I understand that if you don't like your own body, it is hard to then appreciate or understand that someone else could.

There is no easy fix, but I know from what I have read and experienced, if you learn to accept your body for the beautiful thing it is, life will be a lot happier all round.

We all only have the bodies we have, and therefore we should embrace them and how great they are.

Close your eyes, and accept that you and your body are wonderful, and then let yourself be adored by your clearly devoted partner. It is ok to acknowledge that while yo umay not see it, you deserve to be loved as you are. I am sure yo uwill enjoy sex even more when you let your body relax.

"Enjoy your body, use it every way you can
Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own"

Sounds like you’re his goddess and he adores what he sees… but your confidence needs a bit of toppling up.

So this isn’t about how you look but how you feel.

I’d look into doing some positive psychology self-affirmation techniques. These all seem stupid but if you stick with it it’ll make a major difference.

Not sure how active you are but if not that active, increasing it with an extra walk or 10mins of simple yoga most days will likely do wonders to how you feel.

Adding a bit of sensuality, me-time and self-care is always recommended (which I suspect for lots of folk on this site was a far distant memory). Whether that’s a relaxing bath/shower, personal eroticism (sometimes you need to go back to basics), or dressing up a little for bedtime. Sexy underwear should be about you feeling sexy, so even if he’s not fussed about underwear, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t see if there’s something you’d feel sexy wearing.

On negative unwanted thoughts in general (regardless of how micro) the NHS has lots of material via its every mind matters platform.

@Funberry your post was lovely, your wife is so lucky to find someone that thinks so much of her!

I want my DH to get those tingles you talk about - I get them even thinking about him

@GoodWisp I really wish I was his goddess

From what you havbe said, he does already. You just need to believe him when he says it.

I hope you can find a way through to fully enjoy intimacy together.

This.

He may not phrase it that way but clearly you are the person he adores… he probably just wishes you were a little kinder to yourself.

My stomach is loose and wrinkly , my husband has told me after realising he likes to rub it , that he loves how soft it is .

It's hard when porn is full of perfect stomachs and tv, instagram etc but most men want soft and squishy in my experience.

Similar sentiments to Funberry, my wife has severe body confidence issues, several scar tissues on tummy area from botched C section and associated repairs mean she hates it, and boobs are totally off limits for seeing or touching as they're large for her size and hates them with a passion for destroying her shoulders, so whole top half is pretty much off limits. All I can add for how I feel is that they all tell a story of our life together, and how our bodies evolve over the relationship, I love her for her and where we are now, and these are markers on that journey. I know a lot are but not all men are as shallow as to judge on that, especially in a LTR. We don't just say these things for the sake of it, we do mean it. Body confidence can be a truly horrible thing, its really difficult to believe someone loves something you hate, buy he does.

We are both (DW and I) of an age where time has written the lines of our story together and apart on our bodies, I adore every single bit of her.