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What do you do with your FWB?

29 replies

Gotanewname · 13/11/2022 08:38

I mean apart from sex?! Do you go out for meals, even go away together? Stay overnight at one another’s houses? How often are you in touch? How much personal stuff do you share? I’m not quite sure on the right boundaries.

I’m recently got myself an FWB for the first time. He’s a friend I met through work years ago and a lovely guy, great company - but definitely not relationship material for me, if I was looking for a relationship. I have a tiny niggle in my mind he is open to it developing into something more and though I’ve been really clear that’s not where I am (and he says he’s very happy with FWB) I don’t want to confuse things.


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OP posts:
soloinaduo · 13/11/2022 10:39

When you say "got" is this something you both sort of fell into, or did one of you clearly approach the other with a proposal?
I ask because setting the tone from day one is so important.

No guarantees that feelings don't develop of course, but starting off on a solid understanding helps!

Gotanewname · 13/11/2022 11:36

Yep it was a pretty business-like agreement…do you want to become FWBs?

OP posts:
bedtimeisthebest · 13/11/2022 15:14

With my FwB, we do go out for meals and walks.

We have had days out to the coast and country.

We stay overnight, usually at hers.

We sometimes spend the night together and don't have sex.

My wife's FwB is purely a sex thing, they rarely go for a meal, and never spend the night together and they have never met and not had sex.

It is what works for you.

As soloinaduo says, setting out boundaries from the beginning is important, have rules and stick to them. If you want to change them don't do it in bed or after drinking.

ghostsandpumpkinsalready · 13/11/2022 19:23

Meet for a coffee then back to hers for a bit of fun

ibelieveinmirrorballs · 13/11/2022 21:36

I find the moniker FWB confusing - often it sounds like it’s a lot more about the B with little in the way of actual Friendship.

I have what some would call a FWB alongside a regular boyfriend (both know about the other). The FWB and I speak a couple of times a week and meet every few weeks or so and usually have a weekend together. Whilst it’s not a romantic connection in the traditional sense we do go away, go for walks, out for dinner, etc. We’d describe ourselves as ‘lovers’ I think.

I think it’s important to be good communicators if it’s going to work - if you suspect he wants more I’d make sure you regularly discuss the boundaries of the arrangement and encourage him to date others, for example, if that would help.

Jumpking · 13/11/2022 22:09

One FWB is staying over at his (he wasn't a parent) Out for meals. Walks. Watch films.
Messaging all day every day about anything and everything. Virtual film watching. Sexting in the early days. As time went on, we were happy sharing more and more about our personal lives.

Another FWB loved to spoil me, so he used to take me for very nice dinners out that lasted all evening. Wonderful long walks. He stayed at mine, very quietly, because of the kids. Baths with champagne in my ensuite. We had very noisy sex in his camper van in secluded places in the daytime. He also used to cook delicious food at his house, then reheat in the camper van. Less talk about our personal lives. Intense messaging some days, quiet for a few days at a time too.

Both became friends after meeting them online, so we communicated clearly on expectations. So important to do. With the first one, I wanted a relationship early on, but never communicated this as he clearly didn't. As time passed, I settled into FWB and got past wanting to date. He told me last weekend, after 2 years of knowing each other, that he'd really like us to have a proper relationship. He found it hard when I told him I was past that and didn't want to. Not sure how much longer I'll be seeing him, as it feels awkward now.

AverageGuy · 14/11/2022 16:29

With my previous FWB, we went out for meals, theatre & cinema visits, weekends away, even a 10 day holiday abroad.. Although that last one perhaps should have been "relationship" rather than fwb...

To me, the F bit means you do things that you would do with Friends, and the B bit means you do things that you wouldn't necessarily do with freinds...

GentlemanJay · 14/11/2022 16:34

We would do everything a couple would do. Even met family and friends. Just like a couple who got together about every five weeks or so. We kept the messaging and calls to a bare minimum between meeting up.

pocketvenuss · 15/11/2022 19:49

bedtimeisthebest · 13/11/2022 15:14

With my FwB, we do go out for meals and walks.

We have had days out to the coast and country.

We stay overnight, usually at hers.

We sometimes spend the night together and don't have sex.

My wife's FwB is purely a sex thing, they rarely go for a meal, and never spend the night together and they have never met and not had sex.

It is what works for you.

As soloinaduo says, setting out boundaries from the beginning is important, have rules and stick to them. If you want to change them don't do it in bed or after drinking.

How is yours not just 'a full relationship'? How does it differ and be a FWB?

pocketvenuss · 15/11/2022 19:50

Jumpking · 13/11/2022 22:09

One FWB is staying over at his (he wasn't a parent) Out for meals. Walks. Watch films.
Messaging all day every day about anything and everything. Virtual film watching. Sexting in the early days. As time went on, we were happy sharing more and more about our personal lives.

Another FWB loved to spoil me, so he used to take me for very nice dinners out that lasted all evening. Wonderful long walks. He stayed at mine, very quietly, because of the kids. Baths with champagne in my ensuite. We had very noisy sex in his camper van in secluded places in the daytime. He also used to cook delicious food at his house, then reheat in the camper van. Less talk about our personal lives. Intense messaging some days, quiet for a few days at a time too.

Both became friends after meeting them online, so we communicated clearly on expectations. So important to do. With the first one, I wanted a relationship early on, but never communicated this as he clearly didn't. As time passed, I settled into FWB and got past wanting to date. He told me last weekend, after 2 years of knowing each other, that he'd really like us to have a proper relationship. He found it hard when I told him I was past that and didn't want to. Not sure how much longer I'll be seeing him, as it feels awkward now.

If you are messaging daily, going out and enjoying each other's company as well as having sex, how is that not just a relationship?

pocketvenuss · 15/11/2022 19:51

GentlemanJay · 14/11/2022 16:34

We would do everything a couple would do. Even met family and friends. Just like a couple who got together about every five weeks or so. We kept the messaging and calls to a bare minimum between meeting up.

So how were you not a couple then?

Jumpking · 15/11/2022 19:54

@pocketvenuss

As he was far down my list of friends to see, as he was a 5 hour round trip to visit.

GentlemanJay · 16/11/2022 08:31

@pocketvenuss We we're not exclusive. Neither of us wanted to be. Also we only saw each other every five or six weeks with minimal contact in between. I have to say when we came together for a weekend we were just like any other couple. We did all sorts and went all over. For two and a half years.

It was perfect for us both until something changed and that is a very long story.

bedtimeisthebest · 16/11/2022 08:44

pocketvenuss

The only full relationship I'm in is with my wife.

With our FwBs, our family, friends and colleagues don't know anything about them, although they all know about each other.

smg84 · 17/11/2022 13:28

bedtimeisthebest · 13/11/2022 15:14

With my FwB, we do go out for meals and walks.

We have had days out to the coast and country.

We stay overnight, usually at hers.

We sometimes spend the night together and don't have sex.

My wife's FwB is purely a sex thing, they rarely go for a meal, and never spend the night together and they have never met and not had sex.

It is what works for you.

As soloinaduo says, setting out boundaries from the beginning is important, have rules and stick to them. If you want to change them don't do it in bed or after drinking.

Have you never been seen with friends or family when out together ?

MaxTalk · 17/11/2022 14:36

My FWB is purely for sex. Have zero interest in anything else. We meet, we fuck and then we go our separate ways. Until the next time I am feeling horny.

AverageGuy · 17/11/2022 14:56

MaxTalk · 17/11/2022 14:36

My FWB is purely for sex. Have zero interest in anything else. We meet, we fuck and then we go our separate ways. Until the next time I am feeling horny.

Surely that's a fuckbuddy, not fwb?

bedtimeisthebest · 17/11/2022 17:07

smg84 · 17/11/2022 13:28

Have you never been seen with friends or family when out together ?

Not family but at times we have seen both my friends and hers, but to them she is introduced as a friend, which is always accepted.

Freddy12 · 18/11/2022 16:27

I would meet mine in the evening sometimes at mine or out in the car
we would basically contact each other when feeling horny, sex was great
it went on for years if Either was in a relationship we would meet sometimes for coffee it was all very easy and discussed we both had other FWB so for us it was perfect
we got along as friends but only ever met for coffee a beer or sex
we are now both remarried and if she messaged I would meet her for coffee sadly her husband won’t hear if it which is a shame

Samantha87 · 19/11/2022 02:45

I had a lot of fwb. Some from tinder, others old friends. For the most part it was just sex. Drive to theirs, sex as soon as soon as walk through the door, occasionally stay the night and leave in the morning . With a few we used to go for the odd meal or shopping etc.
I was very very clear that I just wanted sex and nothing more. However, a year ago I met someone online and we started to go out for meals etc and he told me he couldn't do it as his idea of fwb was just sex and he asked me to just see him exclusively. After lots of consideration, I agreed and we've been together for a year now and im so in love. Infact, all the men that I ended up doing more than sex with, wanted more in the end.

pocketvenuss · 19/11/2022 10:36

MaxTalk · 17/11/2022 14:36

My FWB is purely for sex. Have zero interest in anything else. We meet, we fuck and then we go our separate ways. Until the next time I am feeling horny.

I'm pretty sure you are fuck buddies not FWB

Thisisworsethananticpated · 22/11/2022 23:18

Go to his house and fuck
we chat have tea etc watch TV
bit this seems to be the formula that’s working

and text most days

but we definitely get on best in bed

Indigoo03 · 26/11/2022 06:59

How/what medium do you find a FWB or FB?

Jumpking · 26/11/2022 09:04

Indigoo03 · 26/11/2022 06:59

How/what medium do you find a FWB or FB?

Online. Google fwb or FB and there will be sites that you can sign up for.

As a girl, I didn't have to pay membership fees 😉

louderthan · 26/11/2022 20:49

Mine has been on the scene for three years, we live in different towns so see each other about once every three/four weeks. We've been away for the weekend together, we go for dinner, lunch, days out, have met each other's friends

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