ED and Husband

[EDQuestion]

I wondered if anyone had any advice regarding my situation. We are both mid 30’s, life-long partners. For the past few months DH has struggled to maintain an erection, when he is giving me oral he is soft and when I give him oral he is soft and it takes time using my hands and mouth to make him hard, this has never been an issue in the past, when we move onto sex he goes soft again, sometimes he’ll be hard enough to have penetrative sex but will go soft whilst we’re having sex and we then have to stop but he has started directing the blame at me.
Does anyone have any advice?

He needs to talk to a doctor. Women are used to having our bits prodded, poked, talked about and all sorts. Far less so for men, so he may be reluctant. It’s incorrect and unfair to put the blame on you though and l suspect that deep down he knows thst.

ED is not a barrel of laughs for either partner, but it must be pretty tough for a couple still in their 30s. I was in my late 40s when I began to experience issues and I kind of expected it to happen at some stage. I do feel sorry for the pair of you.

Blaming you though is an immensely shitty thing to do, no matter how awful he feels about it. As StarlightLady has said, it is essential for your partner to see his GP in order for things to be ruled out. I fail to see why so many men are reluctant to seek medical help with their problems, especially ones of a sexual nature. For most of us men our ability to function sexually is intricately bound up with our self-esteem, so it needs to be dealt with soon before it erodes your relationship any further.

I wouldn't recommend over the counter Viagra until the GP has assessed your partner's suitability to take it. There can be problems taking it if there are underlying blood pressure issues, so he must get checked out first. Having done that, the Viagra option may be open to him and whilst not perfect, it is a whole lot better than a flaccid cock.

Best wishes.

Mid 30’s is v young for ED, another vote for GP appointment as could be other health issues involved

As others have said get him to see his GP. Although medication isn't ideal it is very effective if thats what he needs. Try to assure him about it though, part of the problem is often a confidence thing rather than physical.

I appreciate the responses. We've had time to discuss and he will be seeing the doctor, it may be stress induced, busy job and two
young children.

OP, it's great he is seeing the GP.

I could be completely wrong here, but....If he is blaming you, perhaps inquire as to whether he has trouble coming when masturbating. Maybe he just plays with his todger too much. I thought that it was my partner not being tight enough for years (after kids) before I realised I had desensitised myself, as it were. I used to take way too long. I wait for her to bless me with her touch these days and I'm like touching a hotplate. Less is more. So much more. I've apologised for making her feel like it was her, when it was me all along.