Lack of Sex Moan!

[JulieS1]

HI

Sorry in advance I am probably just moaning and no real solution, but really getting frustrated by the lack of sex.

I have a great relationship with OH, but we are just not getting any time to do it anymore. We have three lovely young kids, which are great but means we get zero privacy or time. He doesn't seem to be missing it in same way, but im really struggling.

I know there are worse things in the current world with cost of living crisis so probably only a minor issue in most peoples eyes but still getting to me! Im really just venting as not sure what the solution is.

We have tried a few times recently but each time disturbed so had to stop, which is worse than not doing it at all!
Before people suggest get some "you time" for DIY that almost impossible. One of my kids is pre school age and at home most the day so no time then.
OH away tonight so I thought perfect time. Kids bathed and in bed early, watched some TV in bed alone then one woke up so all stopped!

Is this normal or just me? rant over!

No, I don't think that's normal. Yes it is harder to find the time/opportunity when you've got kids, but it sounds like your kids don't settle/sleep well at all? What ages are they, and what time do they go to bed/sleep?

Well tbh it sounds about right to me, four children here from 9 to 21, it's all about the planning and making sure you are both pulling in the same direction. Sleepovers, good carby suppers for the smaller ones, part time jobs, sleepovers can really help the cause.

Is it easy? No. Is it worth the wait? Hell yes!!

Good luck

thank you. I think I was just moaning last night! Yes😎 your right worth the wait lol

It is difficult. Have 2 girls but they sleep well and me and my partner always go to bed together and get our play time. It's tiredness that stops us sometimes.
When the kids were younger, we just got used to 10 min quickies. It did the trick. I can't go 2 days without sex so I'd lose my mind too. Good luck

Sounds like you need to get better at the pre planning and communication.

Give the kids snacks and technology and run upstairs is our strategy 🤣

That post at 0825, yes, I would be fed-up at not getting a morning quickie, at least.

that does sound an excellent idea!

Thank you all for your advice and feedback. I think I was having a bit of a frustrated moan when I originally wrote the post! :)
But its good to hear Im not on my own and its normal.
Kids back at school now so had some privacy and peace so everything reset lol!
so no moaning for a few weeks lol
Thank you!

I don't know if normal is the right word but it's certainly not uncommon.

If your OH isn't that bothered, does he know you are?

I don't think he realises, but he is ok with it all. I have tried raising it but just not seen as an issue to him.

It breaks my heart how many MNers are with OHs who don't seem bothered about a lack of sex. Or at least are unable to engage with the subject. I was in that boat and the strain destroyed our marriage and our DD's family. You owe it to yourself and your kids to be happy.

I don't mean to be harsh, but how hard have you tried? Have you made time when there are no distractions and looked him in the eyes and said "We have a good platonic relationship, but the lack of physical intimacy is a real problem for me. It doesn't seem to worry you, and youre allowed to feel like that, but please can we talk about this disparity and how we ca deal with it together?"
Be brave. Good luck.❤️

Men can quickly receive the tension with a few minutes to spare in the shower for instance. Ask him to wait for you a few days, and make your 10 minutes together more intense. He will thank you for it.

My relationship is similar to this. nice to know not alone

Should create a club! lol I- m just hoping it gets better they are all at school. Do you still get the chance to have sex / intimate?

Yes good idea can I join!
No we dont really get the opportunity, and OH has kind of now just switched off to the idea. Probably sees it on the two difficult pile. For me its really frustrating. I did try talking to him about it but he kind of shrugged it off blaming kids and time which i could not really disagree with, and although we are quite open with each other i wasnt going to tell him im desperate! I think its one of those things not getting it is making me want it more. not sure of the solution. but will keep smiling!