How to get in the mood?

[NCTooShyToPostAsMe]

Just that really ^ how do people get themselves ready and aroused for sex?

Background; female, 28, married, one toddler who sleeps well, very lovely and attractive husband.

In my head I would love sex 3/4 times a week but then life hits and by the time night time hits we are both so tired and end up cuddling/sleeping!

How can I get in the mood quickly?!

I feel like this has ended up as a 2/3 part issue now! 🤦🏽‍♀️

Difficult with small kids!

I'm afraid I used written porn as a shortcut (eg literotica). Did the job for me at least sometimes.

100% spot of porn to get things going for you. At any time in the day, whatever does it for you.

You could always bring it into sexy texts during the day to get things a bit spicy 😆

Yeah I agree about sexting if it works for you (it really does for me).

Old Chinese proverb “the appetite comes with eating “

Thank you all!
We're not really porn watchers (although written porn did used to work well for me), but @mathsquestions may be right with that proverb. TMI but we had sex last night after a gap of like 2/3 weeks and we always forget how good it is as we get wrapped up in life etc, and sometimes need to just start and then it all starts if that makes sense?
I think this may be more about taking the plunge to do it and maybe me not feeling as attractive after kids.

Have a listen to the podcast: The Don't Buy Her Flowers Podcast - sex in longterm relationships with Dr Karen Gurney. Or look at her book - Mind the Gap. She also has a website & Instagram page (@the sex doctor) where she talks about sex in a longterm relationship, when you have kids.

Reading books or listening to them on audible (with headphones!) might work. TL Swann books might be worth a look: The Do Over, Mr Masters or The Takeover.

I love that Chinese proverb ^. So true, but we sometimes need help rediscovering the appetite. I do agree the more sex we have, the more we want.

Ah, great update @NCTooShyToPostAsMe I think what you said is so true! When you have sex after a gap you often say, "that was great, why aren't we doing it more often?!" The trick is to not leave too long a gap, so it builds into "a thing," as that sometimes creates a barrier. Making time, even if it's just a quickie, is really important and keeps that part of your relationship alive. Don't overthink your concerns about your body - you've grown a little human! I bet if you asked your DH, he probably wouldn't see the same hang ups that you are seeing.
Enjoy yourselves.

Thank you everyone.
Absolutely @Whatliesbeneath707 it's making the time and telling myself to make the effort for foreplay to kick it all off. Luckily, DH is wonderful and is very giving so that helps a lot!

I'm making an effort now to do exercise and eat more healthily to try lose the last stone and feel really good in myself. DH has never made me feel anything less than gorgeous however this is all in my head.

I will have a look at these ^

I saw an Instagram reel by someone (I can't for the life of me remember who) who suggested visualising inhaling and exhaling through your vagina to start/build arousal. It works!