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Original poster

DH had an erection

27 replies

Calypsoqueen · 09/10/2022 23:58

I have no for this as I am so embarrassed and hurt. Would really love your thoughts on this.

This happened at about 7pm tonight, we are now in separate bedrooms, I feel heartbroken. AIBU?

DH was laying in sofa with his head on my lap. I was stroking his hair and we were chatting in general, absolutely nothing sexual. He sits up and we carry on chatting for 5 mins, Then he said “do you remember that lady about 15 years ago that gave the whole football team a blow job” and we laughed about it. When I looked he had an erection.

Am I being over sensitive, was he fantasising. WWYD?

OP posts:
Rc87 · 10/10/2022 00:27

Me and my partner of almost 2 years are currently on our first holiday abroad together. I’ve organised the majority of the trip - booked all the hotels, restaurants and museums etc. The trip has coincided with my birthday and as my gift I asked my partner to make the plans for this day. Nothing was arranged and we ended up walking around a city for hours trying to find somewhere to eat. My card and gift were bought at a nearby museum gift shop the day before. I can’t help but feel disappointed by the lack of effort but I know I’m lucky to be on holiday and don’t want to spoil the trip by falling out over birthday plans at my age - AIBU?!

travellinglighter · 10/10/2022 00:31

Yep, over sensitive. Might have been thinking about you lovingly stroking his hair, might have been thinking about nothing at all or he might have been thinking about the woman and got the erection. You’ll never know and as erections can come wether they are wanted or not, it’s not a spare room kind of offence.

Hubs456 · 10/10/2022 01:49

Tricky one. I think I would be hurt by this too.
i probably would bring it up cause it’s probably hard to enjoy the holiday with this hanging over you.
good luck

Ilovelurchers · 10/10/2022 02:56

Don't get upset - honestly!

I am a woman but from my understanding erections are tricky things that can be provoked by all sorts. Also you can't choose when you have them.

Sounds like this may have been a mixture of you stroking his hair, him talk ing to you about the football team/blow-job fantasy. Maybe it is hot to him that he can speak openly to you about things like this.

So try not to overract or let it upset you. To me, nothing he has done has been intended as an insult.

RedKite20 · 10/10/2022 05:55

Hi @Calypsoqueen
Bloke’s opinion here so may or may nor be relevant.

What what I do? If my partner was wet in this situation, I’d give her a big hug and call her a naughty girl.

As a previous poster said, it may be that your affectionate stroking of his hair induced an erection. It may also be that he had gone into a sexy reverie thinking of the multiple blow job event years ago and that that had turned him on. IMHO it’s really nice he shared that memory with you. If he had found it a turn on, it doesn’t for one second imply a kind of imaginative infidelity. I think it’s great that he felt comfortable enough to share that memory with you.

I’m assuming he wasn’t one of the recipients of a blow job from the woman years ago, but even if he was, I don’t think it makes a difference.

Wishing you both all the best 💐

Estherpologist · 10/10/2022 06:04

If you can laugh together about the football team blowjob, it seems odd to be offended by his erection. Do you end up sleeping in separate rooms often?

bedtimeisthebest · 10/10/2022 08:39

As someone who is in a very open marriage I'm maybe not the best to comment but you were part of this fantasy and he got an erection you could be flattered by it and join in by giving him a blow job yourself.

Did he say he wanted either you or him to part of a mass blow job or was he just sharing his sexual thoughts,

PinotPony · 10/10/2022 10:34

Embarrassed and hurt? By a rogue erection? Yep, you're being overly sensitive.

Andypandy799 · 10/10/2022 10:52

@Calypsoqueen it all depends on if you were that lady? 🤔

NoDatingForOldMen · 10/10/2022 20:03

you are in separate bedrooms because he got an erection ?
how on earth do have sex ?,
if I was him I would be mighty upset by your reaction

Loonylooops · 10/10/2022 20:44

Good god, no I would not be upset. Open your mind, he was just having a fantasy. You were a part of the situation. He was just being sexual.

Annabananna1 · 10/10/2022 21:36

I can't see what he's done wrong. At all.

topcat2014 · 10/10/2022 21:37

If he wasn't actually in this team, then I can't see the problem?

Was it in take a break or something?

God, we all need something to get us going sometime.

EndersGame · 10/10/2022 22:21

Wow, erections are pretty random at the best of times. Up till my mid-late 30s I could get one at any time, walking the dog, watching the weather forecast, pretty much anything set up off. Now in my 50s it takes a bit more but not very much to be fair. You are off the charts unreasonable.

KirstyMac74 · 10/10/2022 22:31

I wish my DH would get one more often lol

CrushingAndClueless · 10/10/2022 23:51

I wouldn’t be upset about this at all.

whoknew123 · 12/10/2022 05:16

I remember my DH had an erection once, awful unsightly thing, made me feel queesy just looking at it.

WhiskeyMakesMeFrisky · 12/10/2022 09:43

whoknew123 · 12/10/2022 05:16

I remember my DH had an erection once, awful unsightly thing, made me feel queesy just looking at it.

😂

whoknew123 · 12/10/2022 11:31

Calypsoqueen · 09/10/2022 23:58

I have no for this as I am so embarrassed and hurt. Would really love your thoughts on this.

This happened at about 7pm tonight, we are now in separate bedrooms, I feel heartbroken. AIBU?

DH was laying in sofa with his head on my lap. I was stroking his hair and we were chatting in general, absolutely nothing sexual. He sits up and we carry on chatting for 5 mins, Then he said “do you remember that lady about 15 years ago that gave the whole football team a blow job” and we laughed about it. When I looked he had an erection.

Am I being over sensitive, was he fantasising. WWYD?

I wouldn't let a random erection go to waste. I'd have jumped on it and sucked it like my life depended on it then he'd have something to tell the football team about.

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 13/10/2022 00:52

So, things that have given me an erection this week. Waking up, porn, my jeans brushing up against me, my partner bending over to look in the freezer, absolutely nothing, Victoria Coren Mitchell on Have I got news for you, my partner playing with my hair, absolutely nothing, a stray thought of an ex girlfriend, porn, a song, spooning my partner.

And this is as a nearly 40 year old man. 20 years ago a stuff breeze would have done the job.

Things in your story that might have given me an erection. Having my head in my partner's lap, boobs, hair stroking, the word blowjob, absolutely nothing.

There is no rhyme or reason to an erection, they happen when your horny, they happen when your embarrassed, they happen when your tired, they happen when you're comfortable, they happen when you dont want them to, and sometimes they don't happen when you want them to.

Getting pissed off at your DH getting an erection, is like him getting pissed off at you for blinking. You've got some apologising to do.

Opentooffers · 13/10/2022 00:57

Yea, totally oversensitive. It could of been his clumsy way of saying he'd like a blow job, in fact I'd put money on it - not her turning him on, but the idea of a blow job in that moment. Correct response would of been to either get down to it, followed by your fun if in the mood, or a sorry I'm not feeling it right now, another time - if not in the mood.
Sending him to another room to sleep is extreme, can only damage your sex communication in future and in general shows you have some hangups about yourself.

Samantha87 · 13/10/2022 19:44

Yeah that's over sensitive. Take advantage of it....jump on! Were all human and sexual people. I f*ck my bf while telling him I want to watch him with our neighbour 😂.
Doesn't mean I want him too, it's just a fantasy and i love it when he's turned on.

I hope you've made up now.

DonnaBanana · 17/10/2022 20:35

You should thank your lucky stars that your man Still gets erections.

Shunter350 · 18/10/2022 01:31

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 13/10/2022 00:52

So, things that have given me an erection this week. Waking up, porn, my jeans brushing up against me, my partner bending over to look in the freezer, absolutely nothing, Victoria Coren Mitchell on Have I got news for you, my partner playing with my hair, absolutely nothing, a stray thought of an ex girlfriend, porn, a song, spooning my partner.

And this is as a nearly 40 year old man. 20 years ago a stuff breeze would have done the job.

Things in your story that might have given me an erection. Having my head in my partner's lap, boobs, hair stroking, the word blowjob, absolutely nothing.

There is no rhyme or reason to an erection, they happen when your horny, they happen when your embarrassed, they happen when your tired, they happen when you're comfortable, they happen when you dont want them to, and sometimes they don't happen when you want them to.

Getting pissed off at your DH getting an erection, is like him getting pissed off at you for blinking. You've got some apologising to do.

"20 years ago a stiff breeze would do the job.." god yes... ! 😆
Men are predictable ( most of us are decent chaps and not sex pests ).. I get aroused just by the way my lady friend looks at me. And she knows it..BlushWinkGrin

skippy67 · 18/10/2022 08:31

RedKite20 · 10/10/2022 05:55

Hi @Calypsoqueen
Bloke’s opinion here so may or may nor be relevant.

What what I do? If my partner was wet in this situation, I’d give her a big hug and call her a naughty girl.

As a previous poster said, it may be that your affectionate stroking of his hair induced an erection. It may also be that he had gone into a sexy reverie thinking of the multiple blow job event years ago and that that had turned him on. IMHO it’s really nice he shared that memory with you. If he had found it a turn on, it doesn’t for one second imply a kind of imaginative infidelity. I think it’s great that he felt comfortable enough to share that memory with you.

I’m assuming he wasn’t one of the recipients of a blow job from the woman years ago, but even if he was, I don’t think it makes a difference.

Wishing you both all the best 💐

Naughty girl?🤢🤢🤢

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