Missing vibrator found, but there's a dilemma!!

[Rockandhardplaces]

Need some guidance/advice on my next steps please. I've not mentioned this to my DW just yet.

I found my wife's missing vibrator hidden behind our DD bed this evening. It is one of those subtle palm sized vibrators. It's been 'lost' for at least 6 months now. Our DD is coming up to 14yo. I found it whilst changing her sheets. The charging cable leading behind the bed gave it away.

Now this was a very well recieved present that I got my DW a year or two ago, and I'm sure she'd like it back.

If I return it, but she knows that her DD has been using it, then I doubt it will bring back the same uninhibited euphoric delights that it once did. I imagine the thought of 'sharing' a sex toy with her DD might be a bit of a mood killer. I could return it without telling her a thing, but then I've got my DD to deal with. Having her dad take away 'her' toys might be a very cringeworthy and possible life scarring event for her!

I could not tell either of them and just return it to its origional (but foiled) hiding place, and they might just do the British thing and not ask too many questions out of embarrasment. Or I could tell them both that I've taken it back! 😳

Any advice would be gratefully received.

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If you've found this page in your search of how to clean up after sex and cleaning your sex toys, you might find our guide to the best sex toy cleaners useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

You could just buy a new one for your wife. Then neither has to know and everyone is happy.

Good point. Its certainly logical, but also a more expensive option! 🙂

Good god, the horror. Good luck with that.

yikes, do not envy you!
Ask your wife to grab you that screwdriver you left by the bed whilst fixing you dd’s bed next time she is near her room.
She can find the dildo for herself and you can wash your hands of this terrible situation!

I think this thread is proof that the British have lost their way.

Just put it back in your DW's cupboard. Don't mention anything to anyone. If anyone asks you, say you don't know.

Maybe clean it first.

Agree with @B1rd Buy your DW a new one (probably in a diffeent colour.)
Teens masturbatung is perfectly normal and healthy. Let your DD enjoy her little secret without feeling shamed for it.

Yes, starting to think that buying a new one is the only sensible option. Christmas isn't too far away either. 😉

I may be missing the point here but I think it’s a bad idea to ignore the fact that your DD took something of her Mum’s without asking. I know I may be in a minority of one but I would be saying “I found it, you can keep it, but it’s really bad form to steal stuff”! In a way it would also also illustrate that you’re not freaking out about the sexual aspect but just the stealing; also someone should probably tell
her how important it is not to share sex toys, at least without thoroughly cleaning them? (I’m more fun than I sound 😉)

@EpicDay , How sensible. Fun and realistic.

It’s a no brainer! Just buy a new one, any other route would open up a major can of worms on something so minor.

a bad idea to ignore the fact that your DD took something of her Mum’s without asking.

I agree with this - it's theft.

To simply regard this as theft in my view misses so many points. We are talking about the curiosity of a young women here and you have to consider the wider family relationship and impact if something is said. Just as in the same way each individual court case is considered on its own facts. It is hard enough being a girl teen with the pressures and body changes that come with it. Please take this into account.

When I was in my teens I had an elder sister for support, including for things battery operated, I was lucky. Notwithstanding that, when I was about 14, I took some of my mums lipstick and eyeshadow without asking. I also helped myself to a bra from my sister's room. In reality the makeup was far "too old" for me and the bra was too big, although I went on to beat my sister in the boobage department as time went on. I have no idea if either of them found out but nothing was said (no wicked women stuff please, I'm in my 40s now!), and if it had been addressed at the time it would have caused more family disruption.

Get a new one, keep it safe and get buzzing!

@Rockandhardplaces as a dad of a 15yo dd I’d be pleased she had the at and not a bf. I would never go in my daughters room when she’s not home so why were you not respecting her privacy ffs?

I know you may think changing her sheets is a honourable thing to do but I think it’s crossing boundaries she’s not a child anymore but a young lady.

Just buy your wife a new one and take it to the grave. And how has your wife never found it? Sounds like late night wank fodder to see this on here. 🤢

God, do NOT take it back and put your poor DD in the awful position of knowing that one of her parents knows she has been using the vibrator. Just buy a new one. And be grateful that DD has a healthy attitude to her own body and is exploring her sexuality.

I can't even believe this is a real question tbh.

@Rockandhardplaces

You can’t be this clueless?….
Obviously don’t say anything to either. Do you want to associate healthy development of your D’s sexuality with embarrassment and guilt?

Just quietly but the same one for your W and pretend to have found it. There needs to be no doubt in her head that someone took it.

Expensive or not - it’s more important to keep it quiet.

Is it just me who thinks this is a wind up then?

I'm wondering.

IMO you take things, you risk the mortification of being found out, which you'd think would be very much in her mind.

Thank you for the advice everyone. It has really helped getting different opinions on my dilemma, and I'm fairly confident that, in this situation, its probably best to keep quiet and ensure i don't embarrass my DD.

Some discreet shopping for my wife is on the cards now.

Thanks again for your replies.

Hopefully!

This thread is pretty much over now, but intrigued that everyone is so horrified by the idea of even talking about such things to the DD. How does anyone think we would ever get over shame and embarrassment about sex and sexuality if we perpetuate the idea that we can’t talk about it? I quite seriously would have no issue AT ALL about talking to my DD about this stuff - and it makes fuck all difference that what she’s nicked is a vibrator.

@EpicDay just out of curiosity are you male or female? I personally wouldn’t want to embarrass my daughter but would hope she could feel brave enough to have frank and open discussions with her mam. I’m a 42yo father of a 15yo with some old fashion opinions on this subject imho

I’m female - with two DSs - 20 and 14.

I thought so I would certainly feel fine to talk to my son, I know I’m very out of touch with modern parenting 😂 but I just wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it with my dd.

I wouldn’t say anything to the 14yr old (I have a 14yr old), but yes get the wife a new one for Christmas

I had exactly the same problem a number of years ago. I left well alone and told neither. Just toooo messy and complicated.....