Is it worth getting circumsized as a mid-40s single forever-alone male?

[JimDixon]

Tell me quick as the appointment with the urologist is in an hour :).

It's actually a second appointment. When I saw them last time they said it was far from the 'worst' they'd seen because my foreskin does retract. My frenulum is also a bit short/tight. However when I have a full-blooded erection of the type that would be need for sexual activity, it is painful to move the foreskin over the head, and when it is down it stays down.

The operation seems risky. And it is not going to roll back time and make it 1992 again, unfortunately. I have not been on a date since about 2005. Reading the Mumsnet 'Relationship' forum does not exactly make me feel like there would be much chance there even if I tried.

I live alone and have never had a relationship, though I had a small number of sexual experiences in youth. I wouldn't say I'm happy, and I do have addictions e.g. to 'femdom' porn and to cam sites (no doubt acting out my impotence). And a lot of anxiety and low-mood and no doubt underlying depression. I feel that my tight foreskin, among other factors, has stopped me from ever learning how to connect with another person sexually, and has no doubt inhibited me emotionally, too.

Still... I'm not sure what the circumcision could change now at my age.

What do you think?

Hello,
I hope your appointment went well.
I can't speak from personal experience of course as I don't have the equipment, but my son was circumcised as a teenager for similar reasons and he was very pleased with the outcome.
You have a lot of life yet to lead and could have a wonderful sex life in your future. I say if you think having this operation could make things easier and more comfortable for you then maybe you should go for it. Yes there is pain and discomfort for a little while but once that time has passed then life could be a whole lot better in that department.

I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety and low mood. I have family members who struggle with these things and I know how challenging it can be.
I hope you find things that can help you.

Take care xx

Little bit late as you will have had your appointment.

All I can say is my DH had a relatively minor issue but decided for that reason and also, because he thought he would prefer the look and feel, as do I, that he would be circumcised.

He had the appointment and decided on a tight cut so no excess foreskin left. Yes he had doubts like you before he went in but he went through with it. Was very quick and it is a lovely result. He needed a few weeks to recover but I absolutely love how it looks and sex is brilliant afterwards.

I love seeing him walk to the bathroom or in the shower and seeing his circumcised cock in show so hope you went through with it and you find your new found confidence

My exh was circumcised at 34 for sone of the same reasons

Thanks, all, for your replies! The urologist seemed to be senior and was very good. He said that given my history of sexual/psychological problems and addiction, he would not recommend undergoing a circumcision unless it was at the recommendation of a psychosexual therapist, or basically in some kind of recovery context. Because for it to happen on its own might have unknown negative consequences. So, they've booked me another appointment for this time next year....

It must be difficult approaching this medical issue. Us men are not as used to medical appointments relating to down below. Good luck.

I think addressing the addictions, sexual and psychological problems first is wise, do you have support for this?