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14 replies

Camesawconquered · 25/09/2022 23:44

Hi

I've just found messages DH has been sending women of his penis, sex talk and there's chat about seeing each other on calls.

It seems to come from a site they refer to as AW...does anyone know what this is?

OP posts:
Cakeandcoffee93 · 25/09/2022 23:48

No idea what that is- but it doesn’t look good does it?

Camesawconquered · 25/09/2022 23:51

No it's not good at all, I just have a need to see what it is for myself and how he hooked up with them.
Won't do me any good I know, but I feel the more I know the stronger I feel about dealing with it if that's makes sense?

OP posts:
Worriedaboutethics · 26/09/2022 06:01

@Camesawconquered

AW is a site called adult work

look it up you will be shocked. It’s adverts for escorts and cam girls etc!

looks like he is being very disloyal at the very least sad to say.

Camesawconquered · 26/09/2022 07:05

Thanks, I found it.
😢

OP posts:
totallyoutnumbered · 26/09/2022 08:24

I'm so sorry. A heartbreaking discovery. I really hope that you have people in real life that you can lean on for support right now xx

Hopefloats25 · 26/09/2022 21:53

Awful for you to make this discovery. Why do men do it and wreck their relationships?Hope you have some good friends to support you

Camesawconquered · 27/09/2022 06:53

Not the easiest thing to bring up in conversation is it - by the way, my husband has a milf obsession and while I thought he was in bed with covid he was actually paying one to jack off to?

They're all the total opposite to me age and physically - obviously I'm not what he wants or desires like that.

OP posts:
TatumHigh · 27/09/2022 18:39

Sending you hugs @Camesawconquered

It's a horrid thing to discover.

Some men seem to separate their online life from real life and don't see this as an issue. Most of us see it as cheating.

You need a very honest think about whether you see it as cheating. Then tell him what you want to do to proceed.

Hopefloats25 · 27/09/2022 19:42

If its any consolation (probably none) my DP has been online cheating, just messages he said to get off to, but more would not be a surprise since it took him a while to admit to messages. I caught him several times by chance on hook up sites, he is careless or perhaps pushing me to end relationship. Anyway it worked we are currently discussing separation.

What are your plans re confronting him? I know it’s difficult to talk about it in real life with friends but it has made me feel better. Unfortunately this type of thing is not uncommon. So its no reflection on you.

Don’t know why they would throw away nice lives for a quick thrill.

Camesawconquered · 27/09/2022 21:13

I dragged him out of bed and read the messages back to him.

I'd also emailed them to myself so when he deleted them I still had the proof.

We've had a lot of issues surrounding him losing his business and ED and he's said that whenever he felt down or inadequate he would message them.

What I can't get over is times he's telling me he felt bad, we'd had a great time together or the photos were in our bed. I also feel he's a bit of a fool as he'd tried engaging them in conversation and they're steering him back to their webcams where they obviously make money.

Funny how I can see that and he couldn't.

Deep down he's a nice guy who went about his issues the wrong way. He had a choice and he made the wrong decision. Fuck knows where we go from here, I feel empty and confused and torn between loving him, feeling sorry for him, laughing at him and disgusted by him.

OP posts:
cosmicbabe · 27/09/2022 21:41

Camesawconquered · 27/09/2022 21:13

I dragged him out of bed and read the messages back to him.

I'd also emailed them to myself so when he deleted them I still had the proof.

We've had a lot of issues surrounding him losing his business and ED and he's said that whenever he felt down or inadequate he would message them.

What I can't get over is times he's telling me he felt bad, we'd had a great time together or the photos were in our bed. I also feel he's a bit of a fool as he'd tried engaging them in conversation and they're steering him back to their webcams where they obviously make money.

Funny how I can see that and he couldn't.

Deep down he's a nice guy who went about his issues the wrong way. He had a choice and he made the wrong decision. Fuck knows where we go from here, I feel empty and confused and torn between loving him, feeling sorry for him, laughing at him and disgusted by him.

Well when you think about forgiving him, think to yourself, would you do this and would those be good excuses for such behaviour?... Loads of normal single people out there. Why do people put up with such idiots.

Violet90 · 28/09/2022 10:35

He is going to feed you what you want to hear. Once the trust is gone, it’s hard to come back from. If you do decide to try and make things work, it may be worth involving a therapist.

Andypandy799 · 07/10/2022 18:05

@Hopefloats25 sorry to hear of your emotional turmoil. It’s awful to discover your dp is talking to women online and it was a big breach of trust.

I don’t know of many people who would be happy knowing that there SO was talking to other people in a sexual way.

Having a wank to a video is one thing but this is just not right for lost people. Yeah some people like swinging or open relationships but it’s not for everyone.

Whilst he hasn’t physically cheated he has emotionally and needs to do some serious rebuilding to get your trust.

Blaming Ed and losing his business is no excuse to punish you so I would be feeling angry and betrayed. That’s no excuse

I could understand someone in a sexless relationship to behave like this but you haven’t mentioned your personal intimacy.

It must make you feel like you weren’t good enough for him.

And sorry to say this but if he’s done it once he will do it again unless the real issues are resolved and he is 100% honest about why he did it as I don’t buy his original excuse.

Hopefloats25 · 09/10/2022 08:15

@Andypandy799 good post
@Camesawconquered how are you OP?

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