Sex with long-term partner

[Orchidsonmywindow]

If you have a long-term partner, do you ever wonder what it would be like to have sex with someone else. Nearly 20 years together, this is something I often think about but it’s not something I’m going to do anything about. I often think and fantasise about being with another man, how he’d feel, how we’d connect, even how different it would be.

@Orchidsonmywindow

do you talk to your partner about this?

Yes, 16 years with DH. Only DH. I do wonder what it would be like, even though we have really good sex when we get round to it.

I would never tell my DH this. He would be quite upset I think, even though I wouldn’t actually act on it. He’s had other sexual partners before me so he has no need to be curious himself.

I have had more partners than my DP, but after 17 years together, I am still curious and wonder. We have talked about sex clubs etc.. buut it never becomes anything. The fantasy is good for me, and I would consider it.

I think if you love the one you’re with, dream on if you want and just don’t act on that. Far-away fields are not really any greener. Ask yourself what needs you would have met in that dream situation compared to your reality and try to address that wi your significant other?

Yes of course people think about it. Might not admit it but wait until there is a girls night out with drink and then "the who admires who".

Admiring doesn't translate to acting on it. We had a works weekend away a while ago. Hotel included a spa and some of us had swims, sauna and jacuzzi. One of the guys was with us. Fantastic muscular body and obvious he had a large cock to go with it. I had a few nice fantasies that night about what I would do to him, and what I would love him doing to me.

Err and no, I didn't tell DH when I got home so all sat in my head.

Why would OP need to share her every thought? Lots of men look at women and no doubt have thoughts.

Usually about people I’ve had sex with in the past. And bizarrely I was out a few weeks ago and someone looked at me and smiled it’s happened in the past etc but this guy omg I can’t believe how it made me feel I just wanted to jump him.

I do. I was very adventurous before meeting DH and he isn't like that at all. I do miss my pre marriage sex life, and if I could relive it sometimes without hurting DH, well I'd go for it in a heartbeat.

Unfortunately, fantasising is all I've got.

Yes, those first few months are always the best and you get a huge endorphin rush during those times which is hard to replicate and makes you feel so good.
Also with much more experience in generally feel I am much better in bed than ever before and it would be nice to have that validated as my DP never really says anything!

It's normal I think - 20 plus years here. I'm sure the fantasy is a lot better than the reality would be based on past experiences from long ago!