Do men think sexually about all women they meet?

[giveitawhirl]

I remember being told in my early 20s by a male friend that when men meet a woman they will mentally decide ‘I would’ or ‘I wouldn’t’ (sleep with her), even if it’s a woman much younger or older or even if they are happy in a relationship.

I asked other male friends to confirm and they all agreed it was so, an almost automatic snap judgement of interested/not interested, it wouldn’t necessarily linger on their minds, but it would form part of the first impression.

I didn’t and don’t think that way about men I meet (unless they are unusually attractive, and that is rare), and found this idea of being evaluated on my sex appeal by every man I meet intimidating.

Now I am late 30s and wondering if maybe that applied only to my young horny 20-21 year old male friends, or do men do this even when they’re well into adulthood? Even if married and not genuinely interested in pursuing the woman, do they still judge us this way?
What do you think?

So, I don’t speak for all men… but I certainly don’t think that way about all women I meet.

some, who I think are very attractive I would have those thoughts, but the majority of women I don’t mentally categorise

God know , meet plenty thru work and the thought couldn't be further from my mind.

I'm probably an outlier, but I can't say this is something I do.

Yep I do it and so do all my mates..it's not a conscious thing but it's normal to be instantly attracted to someone or not.

Not 100% of the time but honestly it will cross my mind at some point with pretty much everyone - but because I'm not an awful person I can ignore it.
However despite what many say I would argue that it is biologically programmed into men to notice women in that way.
Being a gentleman is a learned art

No not with just any woman but if she ticks my boxes then yes I do

this

When I was my younger-self, when I started my first proper full-time job, I was working in a male dominant environment, I lost count of the amount of times I was propositioned by the men, I even got comments such as, “I could bend you over my desk right now!” “You need to hitch that skirt a little higher!” Comments about my arse etc, it was never-ending. I used to laugh it off because I knew no better, it’s clear I was sexualised and objectified.

Yes I think I do react with a "I would/I wouldn't" to any woman (within a reasonable age range) I meet, but it's very low key and pretty much a reflex thing, rather than a conscious decision to assess them. I've always assumed it's a pre-programmed biological thing.
And just to be clear if the assessment is "I would", then I don't start propositioning them, it's simply a fleeting thought which I don't act on.

Agree with the previous poster. But as a totally heterosexual married man I think I wouldn't be normal if I didn't think like this. Have always had a very high sex drive. I love women, I love being around them and how they look and dress. I meet a lot of women in my line of business. Some of them are just very attractive to me sexually. As I must be to some of them. I often do think "i wonder what she is wearing underneath that suit' or 'I wonder what she is like in bed.."

And a lot of women will know you’re thinking this by the way you look at them and think what a fucking creep. 🤮

Funnily enough - no they don't. Because I am polite, well mannered, and respectful. Unlike many of the overtly sexist, racist, aggressive and bullying men I often see out and about - thinking it's fun to abuse women all the time.

Having a normal sex drive and a healthy interest in sex is part of normal life.

Am sorry if my post offended you though. We're all different. Isn't that wonderful?

I think there’s a difference between staring at a woman and making her feel uncomfortable and finding someone sexually attractive, sadly I think the former is the most common.

TBH I do that with most men I meet (assuming appropriate age) - I do think "I would/wouldn't" but manage to do it without actually 'checking them out'. Most of my male friends feel similarly and I have never experienced any of them being lecherous/creepy towards woman. It's a quiet admiration. Of course the loud obvious sex pest men make us dread the male gaze and assume they're all up to no good. Isn't it hard wired within us to subconsciously appraise all potentially suitable mates for the continuation of the species?

Thanks for all the replies.

Seems a real mixture of replies.

I am asexual myself so personally I don’t ever look at others in that way. I make little effort in my appearance beyond being clean and tidy, partly to discourage men from ‘sizing me up’. But maybe the size me up anyway regardless. I sometimes wonder if making more effort to look attractive would work in my favour. I don’t suppose there is a straightforward answer to that.

I'm female but I do about women but not about men .

I guarantee most do, they just smile or don’t react negatively because not upsetting men is what women learn to do to be safe. If you are looking at what they are wearing and having the thoughts you have said, you will be looking at them for that little bit too long. Women know when this is happening to them, it’s creepy as fuck, especially in a work environment. We smile or pretend not to notice because it’s easier. As a woman with lots of female friends who deal with this shit every day, we think men like that are creepy as fuck.

I am sure you do. But I can assure you I am not 'creepy as fuck' and have never been. Like you, I can also identify the males who actually are.

Often they live alone, have no relationships in their life, only see women on their computer screens, and struggle to have any semmblance of what we would think of a 'normal life.'

I never 'look for that litte bit too long' - ever so please don't lump us all in the same boat together.

Have also had some female colleagues who would message me with 'I'm wearing something special and sexy tomorrow - tell me what you think?'

Many people meet their partners at work so there has always been a bit of flirting. If it's mutual and consensual it's OK with me. Flirting can be fun.

Being creepy isnt. Trust me I've seen it. And I've intervened several times and stopped it immediately.

Times change though. I think if I was starting my career out today, I would never find myself alone with a female colleague at work - and certainly never with a closed office door.

Yes, this is true for me and I'm in my mid-40s. I've always found it easy to put the instinct to one side though. I've never been unfaithful or really tempted to be, but the thoughts are there nevertheless.

I really doubt any of you would think it of me if you met me.

I expect my female work colleagues would be horrified if they knew the thoughts I'd had about all of them.

I asked other male friends to confirm and they all agreed it was so, an almost automatic snap judgement of interested/not interested, it wouldn’t necessarily linger on their minds, but it would form part of the first impression.

in late teens/ 20’s yeah probably, as just full of hormones, much much older now and it’s nothing like that anymore

how many women think sexual thoughts about men they meet?