It's an effort to get my partner to touch me.

[blueberry2105]

I am throwing myself at my own bf and he always has an excuse. I don't just mean sex or TTC I mean bjs as well I don't even want him to do anything just enjoy what I bring to the table and he has an excuse. I have tried dressing up but he's "tired" I try initiate sex but he's "eaten too much and feels full" it's too late, it's too early, I don't have time, I need a shower.

I sent him sexy pics and his reply is "we are past that stage in our relationship" as in we don't need to send pics etc

I am pulling my hair hair out. A lot of my male friends have said jokingly "is he gay" I will give him anything he wants when he tries it on with me but he's not giving me anything when I try it with him!!!!

Should I start rejecting him so he sees how it feels? I have brought this conversation up with him and he just plays it off like he's tired from work etc but I have worked 13 days straight and I'm still the one initiating it.

Does he think women don't have needs? Is he really making excuses to avoid sex I don't understand anymore. I feel hurt by it but I can't show him because I wouldn't want a guy to pressure me into sex either so I won't make him feel guilty or like he has to do something he's not comfortable with.

I can't continue like this. It's making me feel unwanted and unattractive to him. I thought guys loved a surprise blowjob or a naughty pic. Or is that just from women they aren't supposed to receive them from 👍

You need to stop throwing himself at him, leave the relationship and find someone who will want to shag you. I don't know anyone who has successfully recovered from a dead bedroom situation.

This sounds identical to my ex-DH. There was always an excuse and I couldn't understand his complete lack of interest. I was sure he wasn't cheating or gay.

Eventually we went for counselling, during which he revealed that he didn't really feel like getting amorous with me when I was constantly nagging him about the kids or the housework. It hadn't even entered my mind that his libido would be affected by our day to day interactions. I thought that it was normal to have a grumble or a bit of a bicker and then still want to have sex. I was wrong.

There's obviously something he's not telling you. Ask some probing questions and don't assume that it necessarily relates to how sexually attractive he finds you. Ask how he feels about your relationship generally.

I would definitely talk to him about it. Talking to him and pressuring him are two different things. I didn't want sex with my ex-h and it was because I was always nagging him to do stuff around the house, asking him to do basic tasks, we argued alot etc. He could've had sex during an argument, but for me I couldn't. I had no interest in sex when things weren't great in our relationship...I tried telling him that but he didn't understand. I'm not saying that's the reason he doesn't want it, but asking him might be the key to finding out what's wrong. I strongly believe that people that say they're too tired (me included in the past!) Are using that to cover up something else. A good session makes me wanna sleep which is great if I'm tired 😂

100% this ^^ , if he avoiding sex then almost certainly something else going on

I will give him anything he wants when he tries it on with me but he's not giving me anything when I try it with him!!!!

this might be a power thing, sex on his terms only, or it might be a sex drive thing, he might only want sex when he is “in the mood”, I.e. when he initiates

So- he doesn’t want to have sex with you at all- quite clearly. I agree with PP. your relationship generally is probably the issue.

Talk, talk, talk. Without knowing where he is, sharing where you are without judgement on both sides it might be tricky moving forward...he could be a gentle soul, into bondage or the modelling he received when young might mean he's wired a little differently.

With my DW sharing where we both are at helps us to find ground inbetween and there will always be surprises and hopefully lots of fun, good luck!!

This is happening to me. DH is just too busy even to share things about our business with me.
He used to be keen on sex, relaxing and lingering or a quickie. No more. It is an awful feeling of rejection.
Starting me to think about wrapping it up. I see no future. We have no children do you?

I would kill for my OH to do some of the things you do, a surprise BJ.... yes please lol.... any BJ in fact 🤣🤣 I would suggest you fella doesn't actually realise how good he has got it 👍

RoseyPalm that is so sad , hope you can bring him back from the dead , hope you are able to relieve some of the frustration you must build up .😘