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Original poster

Feeling sad

8 replies

Mouse1007 · 28/08/2022 08:22

Hello

I’ve been in a relationship for 3 years now, we don’t live together yet, (not due to wanting) our ages are 53 and 40.

There is lots of love between us but since lockdowns our sex life has faded. I have spoken /mentioned about the lack of intimacy and how important it is for the dynamics for any relationship, but I was made to feel it was me just wanting sex. I miss the closeness, excitement ,love making or just some sexual release and exploration of my desires,

Sometimes we are just going through the motions of a relationship as like if we are related/a friendship but without any sex/intimacy.

Has anyone else experienced this ?

OP posts:
Isitsixoclockalready · 28/08/2022 09:17

I have experienced similar in a previous relationship and all I can really say is that if it is not something that a compromise can be reached on that is genuinely acceptable to both of you then it's hard to see how the relationship has long term sustainability. If they aren't interested in the sexual side of the relationship and you are (and that's not unreasonable as for many people, it is an important aspect) then you really do have to consider the viability of the relationship. Compromise is important but not at the expense of your own happiness.

Str8talker · 29/08/2022 15:41

Sorry if it hurts your feelings, but from what you say there isn't a proper relationship.

Sparkybloke · 29/08/2022 18:13

I was in your position recently.. Ultimately I decided to call a halt to the relationship. We remain friends but that is it...it was such a shame but she entirely lost interest in any intimacy at all. We didn't live together for all sorts of practical reasons and that didn't help but I would say it was in large part what ended my last relationship a few months ago....she simply didn't want any intimacy when we were together and it was so depressing for me. Intimacy and sex is part of a relationship and without it really you are just good friends....which is what me and my ex became....it is painful but life goes on I hope that you find love with someone who feels as you do

hangitup · 29/08/2022 21:59

I'm in a similar Situation. I suspect the age gap might be part of it - we're 40 and 50 (him). I just want sex more often than him, and it makes me so sad to not feel wanted (more often). We do have sex but he really only wants to in the mornings, and even then, not every morning that we are together (3 or 4 nights a week). I'd happily have sex most nights and again in the morning!

I know this is a lot, but I really want him to want me, all the time 😄. My ex husband did so I think I was used to that (though I didn't want him at all, the irony).

We don't plan to love together, I expect if we did it would fade away to nothing quite quickly. I just don't understand it - is it an age thing? Can't be bothered? Simply not feeling it? I really don't want to talk to him as even worse that the current situation would be thinking he might be making an effort and doing it when he doesn't really want to.

hangitup · 29/08/2022 21:59

*Don't plan to LIVE together, not love!

ThinkOfABetterUsername · 01/09/2022 15:56

Yes, Get out of the relationship whole you still easily can, you're headed for misery.

ThinkOfABetterUsername · 01/09/2022 16:00

While

DesertOrchi · 01/09/2022 16:39

Sex is not everything,but it is the cement that keeps a relationship together

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