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'Everyday' sex vs 'special stuff'

1 reply

sxqust · 25/08/2022 22:48

Name changed as don't want linked to other posts.

I was just wondering how often for those who enjoy different sex other than just 'sex' do different stuff.

We enjoy some different things such as anal, toys, porn use, recording etc.

Then we have what I call 'normal sex' just a sex session with some oral and sex in different positions.

I enjoy both but I especially like the intimacy of sex, kissing, being slow, spending time warming eachother up, touching etc. and sometimes the other kind of sex doesn't always include all of that stuff, sometimes it does.

I'm just feeling a bit like we are doing the second kind less and less and doing more of the first stuff. My partner is keen on trying new things, which I like too, but I sometimes find the over discussion, prep and then 'trying something (sometimes takes practice!) take the spontaneous element and sometimes the passion part out of it. And this is starting to frustrate me a bit.

Sometimes I find if he's saying let's do X I almost want to say, let's not bother at all as it feels as though normal sex is becoming something to just do inbetween and I feel like I expected and would prefer it the other way round.

I have tried to discuss this and he says we will do more of it but very quickly it's back the other way. It almost seems as though he's not really bothered unless it's something different now which is leaving me feeling a bit meh about the whole thing.

So I just wondered how others do it, and if anyone has any ideas on how to bring it up in perhaps a better way than I am a managing to now as it doesn't seem to be working!

OP posts:
Wandawhochanged · 25/08/2022 23:38

Yes looking back I see that our sex sorted into different sorts.
Quickies, getting dressed for instance.
The usual slow ones and settle down to sleep after. ( Wake up 1.30am switch lights off, go down bring glasses of water up). He did this I would be deeply asleep.
The specials were outdoor or sexy clothes and different rooms.

The quickies just became less frequent, as did the outdoor sessions. Now as we get older all has slowed down.

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