Huge dry spell

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Would love some tips on how to hopefully end a huge dry spell. My wife and I have been together for over 10 years. Have had several dry spells and when I’ve been pregnant (twice) she’s refused to touch me at all as she said it was gross when I was pregnant. I found this hard to take as I’ve a high drive anyways and hormones made it worse but she refused and that was that. Since our second was born 3 months ago she’s still refusing it. It’s got to the point where I feel like a horrible old unattractive nag and I’m starting to realise she doesn’t want to sleep together at all ever and I don’t know how to cope with that. I know having young children we are both exhausted but I don’t see why that has to mean a completely sexless existence. Feeling really upset with it all.

Op, firstly, huge on-line, virtual hugs and for you.

Mis-matched libido is awful in any relationship, and can easily destroy it, but, I think there is more to it than that.

"My wife and I have been together for over 10 years. Have had several dry spells"
First red flag. Why do you think these happened?

"when I’ve been pregnant (twice) she’s refused to touch me at all as she said it was gross when I was pregnant"
Second red flag. That's simply not what you say to any pregnant woman, never mind your spouse!

"she refused and that was that"
Third red flag. Sorry, but three strikes, and you are out.

Forgive me, but it doesn't sound like this woman cares for you at all. How long have you been married?

I note that you have been pregnant twice - why didn't your wife carry?

I'm probably reading far too much into your post, but it sounds like she was using you as a baby momma, and now that she has her family, doesn't want anything more to do with you... I hope I'm wrong...

IMHO, you need at the minimum to talk to her. Others may suggest leaving her, but with (at least) one young child, that's going to be dificult. Do you have your own finances?

Thanks for your reply. I think I might have made my wife sound terrible! She certainly isn’t and isn’t using me to birth her children! I was happy to be pregnant and she was happy for me to carry. We have our normal ups and downs of any relationship and with young children it is a stressful and sleep deprived time. I really just wanted some advice / possibly abit of a rant!