So I've been with my partner almost 4 years. I'm 45 he's 48. I'm divorced 10 years after a long relationship 3 kids and one 4 year serious relationship that ended badly. He's never married and been around the block a few times so to speak. When we met it was instant chemistry...no holding back from day one and sex was very good. Very varied and I lost the sexual hang ups I'd had for a long time. This all kind of fizzled out quite quickly due to shift work, my older kids living here and general life...to the point now that it's almost non existent when I say its been 3 or 4 times this year is not an exaggeration. Its a huge issue for me and I miss it and I miss the intimacy. Its affected my confidence massively and its become this elephant in the room. I've brought it up many times. He gets defensive and then that makes matters worse. He has performance issues and just buries his head thinking it will go away. This has come to a head this week. We've come to the make or break point where I've said it's needs dealing with. We still are very affectionate fancy each other alot and want things to work but there had been this wall built because of the intimacy issue. SO as a kind of very surprising attempt by him He's suggested sat night we watch porn get some toys out bottle of wine and see what happens. This has kind of taken me by surprise...its like going from nothing to 100. I'm up for it I just am scared ill be anxious and tense and won't know how to react etc. Porn doesn't bother me I've watched it before but never with a partner as part of sex. Help needed on how to take this in my stride please 🙏