In my twenties and thirties I enjoyed sex fantasies a lot. I shared this with my wife from the beginning of our marriage. She said that she'd had fantasies in her single years in her early to mid-twenties and shared a couple of them which were extremely raunchy. But said they weren't a significant thing for her any more.
Occasionally over the years a book or a film or a television series would get us both revved up quite a lot with shared fantasies.
I'm in my fifties now and virtually never fantasize. My wife says she never does. We have about the same amount of good, enjoyable sex that we always have, so it's not part of a general age-related "sex-fade" as far as I can tell. So that's all good. But the fantasies have gone. If I ever try to bring one to mind it just doesn't have an impact.
But I've always been quite interested in exactly where they come from. Although for me what I fantasized about was fairly "standard" if very raunchy stuff I know that for some people they can be quite way out. But why are they so powerful? Why do some people have them and not others? Do they inevitably fade with time? Do men and women fantasize differently? When, if ever, is it good to share them with a partner? How important are they to a "good sex life"? For me once upon a time they were, but not any more. Why not?
Maybe especially because they used to be quite a significant thing for me I sometimes still wonder about sex fantasies. What on earth are they all about?
I don't have any real answers btw but would be interested in hearing other thoughts and views.