I don’t get wet

[Notmyusualusernameforthis]

Regardless of how aroused I am, I just don’t get very wet. I can have an orgasm and not get wet. Am I alone?

I find it really embarrassing, basically like there is something wrong with me. It’s not that I’m not interested - I adore sex and can be super turned on and it just doesn’t happen. I had amazing sex with ex-DH and he definitely knew all the right things to do (only thing he was good at!) but I still don’t get wet enough to be comfortable being touched, let alone piv.

He knew to get round it basically with lots of saliva and problem solved. However, I’m now single and it’s just embarrassing - it looks as if I’m not interested. And so many threads on here about how much men love it when you’re really wet, that I feel it must be a turn off.

I can literally count on on hand the number of occasions in my whole life where I’ve got really wet…so I know I can, but I just don’t. Even if I’ve cum.

Thoughts? Would love also to hear men’s view - how would you feel if this happened with a new partner?

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That's just a technical problem, just use lube instead. Everyone is different, if you are turned on and can climax then lack of wetness can be very easily solved.

How old are you? Can be a peri/menopause thing, especially if it's new for you.

I suspect it is probably best to look to men for an answer here. We have enough mansplaining about the female body as it is. I agree with the lube suggestion. Just add beforehand. There is no problem with using just in case either.

Lube I think is the answer either you or your partner to use prior to sex.

Whoops! I meant best NOT to look to men for an answer here. The shame!

So yes, lube/ saliva is the practical solution though really id like to not/ feel a bit useless that I need to. And like I said: actually a bit embarrassed. Hence part of my ask was whether anyone else experiences this?

Not age-related - it’s always been like this.

Personally, your partner will see you are turned on by how you are responding/ being level of enthusiasm smiles things you say etc getting wet is not the only clue
from a male perspective I would not be concerned, a good lover will work this out for himself Mrs F does not get very wet naturally I know this so always give her a lot of oral ( which we both love) before any PIV she also gives me oral so we are quite wet when we get to PIV maybe mention that he is going to need to do this
our bodies are all different try not to worry or stress for me the most sexy thing is an enthusiastic engaging fun lover everything else is secondary

Many here. If you are not using condoms then use some coconut oil. It's great as a lube, tastes nearly as nice as natural juices and it doesn't dry up too quickly. We also found that a little bit of oil actually kick started the production of her natural juices so don't use too much to start with.

Don't beat yourself up, we are all different.

Man here. No it shouldn't matter. Although I appreciate that this may be the same kind of feeling of concern a man might have if he's not able to have or maintain an erection even though he's turned on and is worried about what his partner might think (I've been there).

I really don't think that it would be a turn off for a man although he might be a bit worried that he wasn't doing the right things to get you aroused.

Maybe at the right moment early on in proceedings you could mention that you don't naturally get very wet, and have some lube handy? Potentially awkward, I realise, but quite probably not with a decent man. You could even suggest he applies it as part of loveplay. I think most men would respond very positively to an invitation like that! And communicating the fact early on might enable you both to relax and enjoy and know that it won't be an issue the next time?

@Notmyusualusernameforthis I bet if you have a read back over the sex board you will find many other women in a similar situation. Some women post here who have the opposite problem & feel they are too wet and this can reduce sensation. We are all different, as others have said.
I'm not sure how old you are, but using lube has become so much more commonplace now. I know it hasn't always been like this. There is absolutely no shame in having lube with you and just saying shall we use this. Dry painful sex is no good for the man or woman, so I can't imagine you'll get any objections. It can be really nice for you to use on your man during foreplay too. Buy some & enjoy using it.

I would agree with this ^^, don’t spare the lube, I tore my frenulum this year because we didn’t use enough lube, nothing puts you off sex quicker then blood all over the bed sheets.

Speak to your gp. I was prescribed oestrogen gel that I insert on a regular basis and works for me as really dry before. But I still like to use lube to make sex more comfortable at the beginning of the session.

I think discussing this with your sexual partner is important. I have the opposite problem and get very wet. There are so many different types of lube, you can incorporate in sex and don’t feel embarrassed we’re all different, as long as you both enjoy yourselves, that’s all that matters.