Am I ugly

[KenAddams]

He will only sleep with me when he's been drinking, called him out on it and he said it's when he's most confident. Could this be true or is chances am he doesn't find me attractive anymore

[HowlongWillThisTakeNow]

I would imagine its true and the drink is giving him Dutch courage to try, he might be worried about you rejecting him sexually

[KenAddams]

He did say (albeit when drunk) that he would love to do it more but can't as he would kill himself with drink 😂

[B1rd]

The question needs to be asked whether you're happy being with someone who needs to drink alcohol to have sex with you. Why don't you find someone who is relaxed enough in your company without having to resort to alcohol?
I think you need to find someone who deserves your time.

[KenAddams]

Thanks bird I have resorted myself to this shitty life am afraid

[B1rd]

No-one should resort themselves to this sort of relationship. You deserve so much better.
Please go over to the relationship board and they will advise you about how to get out of this dire situation you're in. Unless you're single, then dump him. Please dump him.

[KenAddams]

Your too kind that was nice to read thank you x

[AverageGuy]

Op, how long has this been happening?

A little alcohol to loosen up, maybe, a lot, no.

I wonder why he feels he needs to be "most confident"? If he only ever has sex with you once under the influence, it's possible he is either asexual or has gay tendencies, and needs the alcohol to be able to "perform". (Personally, I find too much alcohol has the opposite effect...)

It obviously bothers you - to the point that you are worried about your attractiveness - whatever the case, you absolutely do not have to put up with it.

You deserve someone that wants to have sex with you without the need for any form of artificial stimuli.

I'd tell him straight that, if he can't have sex with you without being drunk, then he can't have sex with you.

[KenAddams]

Prob been around 4 years it's been happening a bottle of red wine and some beers usually he latest was he lasts longer than he could if sober

[AverageGuy]

Op. "a bottle of red wine and some beers" - That's a lot of alchohol, and I say definitely an issue. How often does this happen - once a week, once a month, more, less?

If you are planning to stay with him, then IMHO, I' think he needs help. Maybe he had some sort of (to him anyway) issue with his "stamina" before the drinking started, and he believes this is the only way he can prolong his orgasm.

Again, If you are planning to stay with him, I'd suggest that you need to sit down with him, and let him know he doesn't have to drink to give you pleasure. Let him know how worried you are about the amount he is drinking, and that it's probably having an effect on his health, and definitely having an effect on how you view yourself.

Suggest a trip to the doctor - get his health checked out, as there might be something physical wrong. Would he consider councelling?

If you both believe "stamina" is an issue, there are delay sprays, and condoms with numbing agents in them that can help. You could consider "finishing" him manually or orally earlier in the session, and then he should last longer when you do get around to PIV, assuming he recovers fairly quickly. Of course the whole foreplay bit should be mutually beneficial!

Alternatively, you might want to consider moving on.