Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sex

You need to have been registered for 7 days to post in the Sex forum. Please don’t send unwanted PMs to other users.

Original poster

He is different then others?

13 replies

LostInDating · 27/07/2022 01:25

Hi.

I had my eyes on this guy for a couple of months, met him at the weekly dance classes, because he wasn’t paying to me much attention I got to know another guy and started seeing him, let’s call him R. after a while he (the first guy, let’s call him A.) finally gave me some signs that he is actually interested in me as much as I am in him. Meanwhile the dating with R. Was over (as he got another girl pregnant)…so me and A. Started slowly flirting more and more - we met few times for brunch/dinner etc he is very sweet he would walk me back to my car after socials and give me hugs and forehead kisses… it took another couple of weeks till he kissed me in the lips. I find that everything with him goes really slowly…and maybe I m just overreacting coz I’m not used to slow love story, I am used to fboys who treat woman like an item…
so one night he invited me to his for tea, we has some cuddles but nothing more..then another time he kissed me on the dance floor at that bar we dance every Sunday - which was nice it kind of showed he is willing to show people we are seeing each other etc. nobody has ever seen him with a girl there…The same night I went to his and beside the usual cuddles and kisses the vibe was getting heated - we made up, do the 🤚job and “blow dry”but he wouldn’t go full on - I was so in mood for sex that I got frustrated that he is against it. He was keep repeating that he doesn’t want me to get pregnant now ( I’m like dude, there is morning pill and other options) he just wouldn’t - maybe he didn’t have condom, I didn’t either/ and I’m not on any contraception either…
Now I have never met a guy who would wait this long to have sex with a girl?????
Last Sunday R. Appeared on socials and the tension was crazy between 3of us ! I was ignoring him until at the end when he asked me to dance , I hesitated but eventually agreed coz people were watching us didn’t want to embarrass him nor myself with childish behaviour…we didn’t talk at all during the dance - it was awkward as fuck..I am upset coz he basically was seeing me and got another girl pregnant. Event ended I went to A. House coz I was staying over at his and he tells me this- you looked well uncomfortable dancing with your ex… I said yeah coz I didn’t want to at the first place. And this guy tells me - he told him to come and ask me to dance a few hours prior ?! I gone mad mad! Like what for? He said he wanted to relieve the tension between me and him… I don’t get it. Who does that?

A. is coming over tomorrow to mine for the night and asked me if he can work from mine the day after as I’m on A/L this week - honestly I don’t know how I feel about it - I’m still mad for what he did and also I’m sex deprived 🤣

what do you think ?

OP posts:
Joey69 · 27/07/2022 07:20

Not sure if I really followed all that, but it’s his choice not to have sex with you, maybe he didn’t have any condoms, if he doesn’t want to get you pregnant then that’s a 100% valid reason not to have unprotected sex.
my advice, get some condoms yourself.

Mum4kids1dog · 27/07/2022 10:24

It could be any reason. Low sex drive, not that into you, worried about having sex... But the no contraception is a valid point. He may just care about his sexual health and not getting someone pregnant.

Newusername21 · 27/07/2022 14:32

It's not really that clear if you are in a relationship with guy A or not? Also the timeframe isn't clear from your post.
Maybe this guy just is used to waiting a while before having sex with a new partner? That's his choice. He could of just been worried about contraception or STI's the last time. Sounds like a sensible chap to me.

notplasticc · 27/07/2022 15:10

Try having an honest conversation with him about how you feel and understand if he finds you attractive?

Original poster
LostInDating · 27/07/2022 15:36

Newusername21 · 27/07/2022 14:32

It's not really that clear if you are in a relationship with guy A or not? Also the timeframe isn't clear from your post.
Maybe this guy just is used to waiting a while before having sex with a new partner? That's his choice. He could of just been worried about contraception or STI's the last time. Sounds like a sensible chap to me.

I saw him first back in December..
He told me he saw me with the other guy and he is the type of guy who doesn’t make a move on others guy woman. So he waited until I was coming by myself then we clicked and carried on getting to know one another.

About the relationship status …does people officially say “do you wanna be my girlfriend/boyfriend these days? Or we just assume we are in relationship?! I mean we text a lot, video call, he kissed me on the dance floor and holds my hand in the bar, we visiting each other etc then I would say we are dating…

OP posts:
Original poster
LostInDating · 27/07/2022 15:38

notplasticc · 27/07/2022 15:10

Try having an honest conversation with him about how you feel and understand if he finds you attractive?

So that night that things were heated in the bedroom - he was keep saying he really likes me, that he can see himself marrying me at some point and that we need to work out to live nearby as right now he lives 35miles away.. he keep asking if my family would accept him etc ..

maybe he is just sensible and does take his time before he sleep with a woman - who knows

OP posts:
SparklingStars10 · 27/07/2022 16:44

You were prepared to have unprotected sex knowing you are exposing yourself to STD’s and pregnancy? He was very sensible to not have sex in this situation. If you’re sexually active you should be on contraception and be using condoms especially for casual sex.

Original poster
LostInDating · 27/07/2022 16:56

SparklingStars10 · 27/07/2022 16:44

You were prepared to have unprotected sex knowing you are exposing yourself to STD’s and pregnancy? He was very sensible to not have sex in this situation. If you’re sexually active you should be on contraception and be using condoms especially for casual sex.

A. He isn’t a random guy from the bar that I just met, I have known him for months and I know he doesn’t brings/sleeps with girls around
B. He told me the first time he came around to mine, he had condom with him but nothing happened coz I chose to not proceed, so I assumed he will be ready this time
c. Yes I was under influence of some alcohol and once tension grows people put themselves in risky situations such as STD’s
d. Morning after pill and abortion is legal in this country so when the mistake is done it can be mended

e. I have been on coil for years and my GP advised me to Have a short break for my cycles to get back to normal/ other contraception did not work for me
f. I don’t carry with me condoms because I don’t usually have sex with random people

Anyways, thank you for your comment.

OP posts:
SparklingStars10 · 27/07/2022 19:45

LostInDating · 27/07/2022 16:56

A. He isn’t a random guy from the bar that I just met, I have known him for months and I know he doesn’t brings/sleeps with girls around
B. He told me the first time he came around to mine, he had condom with him but nothing happened coz I chose to not proceed, so I assumed he will be ready this time
c. Yes I was under influence of some alcohol and once tension grows people put themselves in risky situations such as STD’s
d. Morning after pill and abortion is legal in this country so when the mistake is done it can be mended

e. I have been on coil for years and my GP advised me to Have a short break for my cycles to get back to normal/ other contraception did not work for me
f. I don’t carry with me condoms because I don’t usually have sex with random people

Anyways, thank you for your comment.

Show quote history

You sound incredibly naive, off course you don’t know who he’s sleeping with and in your original post you said maybe he didn’t have a condom but are now saying he did.

He is sensible for:

A: Not risking getting a woman he doesn’t know well enough pregnant.
B: Not exposing himself to STD’s.

In your first paragraph you say he’s not some random guy and in your last you say, you don’t carry condoms because you don’t usually have sex with random guys. If you plan to have sex now or in the future, get some contraceptives.

PinotPony · 02/08/2022 12:29

Your post isn't very clear but it sounds like:

  1. You should steer well clear of R who is an arsehole getting another girl pregnant whilst dating you.
  2. Talk to A about how you feel and how frustrated you are by his slow approach
  3. Be responsible and get some contraception. The morning after pill and abortion are for emergencies, not as an alternative to planning.
  4. Consider why it is that you place so much importance on whether a man wants to fuck you as if that's a measure of how much he likes you. It sounds like you may have some self esteem issues.
josuk · 03/08/2022 04:38

In simple terms - buy condoms and carry them around.
And grow up. ‘Knowing’ someone for a few months doesn’t protect you from STDs.
Morning after pill doesn’t either.

Also - don’t drink that much if you know it leads you to really risky behaviours.

The only guy who sounds normal here is guy A. At least - horny or not - he wasn’t just thinking with his genitals.

DixonD · 12/08/2022 00:43

Abortion is not a form of contraception. It shouldn’t be seen as an option just because you can’t control yourself. Have some sense of responsibility and self respect.

scotsguy1314 · 12/08/2022 14:52

People, please lay off the unkind comments?

There could be lots of reasons for him not going all the way or he might just be a gent that really likes you. You probably need to get it all on the table and have a conversation because there's a balance that needs to be met if it's to work.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page

This topic prevents users from posting on it until they have been members for at least 7 days.