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Finding sex boring, partner now leaving since told him.

5 replies

B91231 · 18/07/2022 22:12

I just told my partner for the first time I dont find sex enjoyable, I find it boring. I want to play around a bit more but instead off saying how can we and what can I do he is currently stopping about packing his stuff to go to his mothers apparently leaving me because I made him feel bad and nothing he does is right.

Now for context we haven’t had sex in over a month and he has to beg me to have sex in which I might give in every other month.
i just wanted to change it, start experimenting, making it fun and doing stuff that well turns me on.

also we have had a lot of issues lately this is just one, he would rather hang out with his dealing friend than me, doesn’t make me feel special, has gone through 3 jobs in the last month cause he hung out with this friend guy, who deals and does them too and stayed out and didn’t come home or go to work so lost these jobs. I don’t want him around him, so he thinks that I’m controlling for that. But if it was the other way round I’m sure he’d be the same way.

has anyone been through this, Has this ever made you actually split up. Should his reaction be different. Going out my mind, does me not actively trying to enjoy sex with him not show interest in some way.

so sorry about how long it is just so confused on how to sort this issue.

OP posts:
B1rd · 18/07/2022 22:34

It sounds like he's doing you a massive huge favour by leaving!

Are you happy that he doesn't make you feel special? Are you happy that you aren't his priority? Are you happy that he can't hold down a job?

Please don't sort this issue. You deserve to be prioritised and made to feel special. Let him go.

B91231 · 18/07/2022 22:45

Its Not he can’t, it’s since he started hanging with this friend. other wise he’s always worked, gets paid well when he does, just can’t get rid of this friend! A bad influence, This friend is not a friend as he don’t care about obviously my partner. Just cares about himself, he’s a dealer so he has money, no kids or a house. Where as we do but for some reason he has a hold on him, I always say I’m sure he’s secretly in love with him.

I do think I’d be better other without right now, but we have bills together I’m not sure I can afford without him or him working, I moved hours away from everything, with him and we have kids. If I leave I can’t maintain this house, life. Obviously he goes from job to job this month but since he’s worked he still brings the income it’s just not as stable as before.

but it’s nice to know I’m not crazy!

OP posts:
HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 18/07/2022 23:22

I dont find sex enjoyable, I find it boring

to be honest if my partner said this sentence to me in isolation I would probably be packing my bags as well as I would assume the relationship was over, as for the rest, he sounds terrible, don’t bother trying to fix it.

altmember · 19/07/2022 03:44

Now for context we haven’t had sex in over a month and he has to beg me to have sex in which I might give in every other month.

Personally, I couldn't cope with that, but to then be told by my partner that they find it boring would probably have me packing my bags too.

It sounds like your partner is an addict, and that's why he needs to maintain the 'friendship' with his dealer. Seems there's multiple issues in your relationship.

ThinkingaboutLangClegosaurus · 19/07/2022 09:52

Regardless of your sex life, you don’t want to bring up children with a drug user who hangs out with his dealer and can’t keep a job. That’s no life for you or DC.

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