Boyfriend size causing problem

[spacecadet]

Been in a LDR for 6 months and this is the fourth meet-up in that time. The issue is my boyf is very vocal about when the sex isn't working for him and this time he basically said that what I did didn't even qualify as a blowjob. The thing is he is bigger than average and unlike with previous partners I can't get him in entirely. He says my teeth are also a problem and this visit he basically stopped me mid-point and said it wasn't working. He's also circumcised which I'm not used to. It's left me feeling hurt and embarrassed and I don't really know where to go from here. Are we simply not sexually compatible? Relationship is great otherwise and was moving towards something more settled- plans to live together etc - but this has really made me feel rubbish and like sex is always going to be an issue for us. Feeling pretty fed up right now. Not sure what I'm asking for - advice maybe? Is it possible to move past this or is it the case that sometimes two people just don't physically fit?

Seriously, why are you with him? Is he neuro diverse or just plain rude?

@deedledeedledum what are you implying there?

He doesn’t sound very nice I would get rid!

I don’t think there is anything really wrong with saying that a sexual thing is not working for you, ( from either person), it’s just how you go about it.
if he is very big, you may have to rethink the relationship as he is not going to shrink!

What does your bf suggest you do then? Have your teeth removed? This is likely always going to be a problem and if he's not nice about the way he says it then things will quickly go sour.

its good though that you're finding out who he is early, because only 6 months in and only 4 meet-ups in that time is soon to be considering living together. You really don't know each other.

Well, we do know each other. Have known him through friendship group for years but only got together 1 Yr ago and have been LDR for 6 months since I left his country for a new job. I suppose my question is about whether the relationship can continue without the blowjobs or whether that's an impossibility for most men.

Whilst it's not something you talk about with your mates down the pub I understand there are some blokes who aren't particularly bothered by this. Personally I would miss it massively. Receiving oral is a big part of intimacy for me.

A deal breaker? I've never had to make that choice thankfully, although it wouldn't be now as I'm committed to my marriage and if oral stopped I'd just have to get on with it I guess.

I think it's something really important to clarify with him at this early stage before it leads to issues further along the road. Communication, as ever, is the key thing in all things sex.

I certainly hope he's an amazing, talented lover to feel he can criticise you. I'd drop him, life is too short for c*cks that are too big.

Life is too short for a cck that is just too small or in this case too big for your personal preferences, and certainly not if the owner of that cck is considerate enough to appreciate that he may not be a good fit for you size wise.

You may enjoy visiting this forum which has a focus on size issues, though usually it is around men being too small, so you would bring a fresh perspective.

https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/sizematters/

That's a site made by a bloke that's into SPH

I know what you're all saying and I do feel it was a downright rude thing to say. I don't think he gets that I no longer want to do anything sexual with him. He keeps making jokes about how he's going to have to cope with a blowjobless relationship. What is SPH BTW?

The Size Queen group would appear to better fit that description but groups that encourage women who have a preference to share that preference shouldn't all be considered SPH.

The bloke claims to have 7-8", although yes the members at the moment appear to prefer mostly well above average but could put the claimed aim of the group against the SPH supposition, and if women who prefer smaller ones join, see how they are treated.

If it is SPH orientated they won't be welcome, if it is as the group claims, then they will be welcomed.

I have a new bf who is large in width and length. BJ's were a bit of a struggle tbh. I'd been with the same average sized guy for decades with no BJ issues at all. New bf wasn't rude like your bf, but as he was much larger than what I'm used to my teeth sometimes got in the way! Ouch

I've had to adapt technique to be mostly similar to lollypop licking, with occasional full mouth near tip. I'm not explaining it well but he's loving the new way.

Your bf sounds very hurtful. I wouldn't want to please a bf who made jokes about it sex life, to make my feel bad.

Oh honey, any man insisting he needs something you can't/don't want to do is going to find someone else to do it. Find yourself somebody who loves you, cares for you and wants the best for you.

I am getting total jaw replacement and my boyfriend is understanding that I can't give blow jobs at it strains my jaw joints too much. He's also aware that after I've recovered from surgery I still might not be able to give oral. For some it may be a deal breaker but I can assure you not for all. It also didn't bother my ex.

SPH = Small Penis Humiliation

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Small_penis_humiliation

Doesn't seem SPH orientated to me, more a place to safely discuss that size does matter rather than focus on humiliating those with small penises. Those with small ones reading may get humiliated but doesn't seem to be me at least to a SPH group.

Regular size is just fine!

And small sized? Regular and up for me but it can be just too bug as well!

FFS will people stop conflating neurodiversity with downright sociopathic, selfish behaviour,?!!

Your bf is selfish and lacking in empathy. This is unlikely to get any better. You don’t owe him any kind of sex. Tell him to F himself (literally!)

Thanks thisyearsuckssofar and buffyspike. Interesting to hear from people who have had a similar problem to deal with although your bfs sound much more understanding. I'm stepping back for a while because tbh I wasn't really getting what I wanted either. I think he needs reprogramming in all things related to the bedroom and I don't think I'm the person to do it.