Feel so unsexy and unf@ckable since having children, how do I get my self esteem back?

[disappearie]

I have had two babies, last one is a month old. I look at myself and can’t stand the sight of what I see in the mirror. I look haggard, feel bloated and run down.

I’m breastfeeding and thought that would help me shed a bit of the baby weight, but all I want to do is eat!

I used to be super sexual and have a high drive, but now I feel completely dead.

As bad as I feel, I’m wondering if I gave up breastfeeding if that would help me feel more normal, or, would it not change at all. I really want to keep breastfeeding but I feel so hideous.

what would help me feel more like the old me again?

Well, the first thing you have to tell yourself is that YOU ARE sexy and you ARE fuckable.

Might not feel that way now but you have to start somewhere.

You've a one month old baby.. ! Cut yourself some slack.. your life will adapt. Give yourself time. It's not a race.

You've a one month old baby! Heavens alive go easy on yourself woman. No wonder you don't feel "fuckable" your body is still recovering from the massive (wonderful) trauma of pregnancy and childbirth. Of course you want to eat! You're breastfeeding, you're probably not getting great sleep and you've just had a baby 🤷🏻‍♀️

Don't put pressure on yourself to feel anything - let yourself recover and you'll find yourself again in time.

Exactly what everyone else has said, you'll find your mojo once your life finds balance. Won't take too long either.

You've had 2 babies so you must have bounced back after the first so you will after the second.

Personally I think it’s too early (pre 6 week review) but also I find sexy get up helps…lovehoney outfit or lingerie. Having to cover up my stomach has opened a whole new world to me….

I hope you were reassured by other replies. If you still want to start being interested again try joining in with the 'dirty talk thread'?
It seems to get a lot of traffic. They can't all be 15yr old boys!

A month!? I was still a month after childbirth, the thought horrified me. You have ages to start feeling sexy again.

You are still recovering from having given birth, you have a baby keeping you awake for feeds and another child to look after as well. Is there a partner helping out?

Give yourself some credit here, you're doing an amazing job at the moment and all your energies are going on your children. That will change and your body will recover.

And anyway - there is nothing sexier than a new mum.

Yikes please give yourself a break!

Its taken me a long time to feel like myself after having babies, some people get back to it right away, and everything in between.

Breastfeeding is knackering as you’re the only person doing it, you have a tiny baby attached to you much of the time, and hormonally for some women (me for sure) it can reduce your sex drive a bit. Just acknowledge the physical challenge of it and give your body a round of applause for getting through pregnancy, birth and now feeding a baby. Things will get easier and you’ll fee more like yourself.

Hopefully your partner is picking up the slack and helping you to get a break. In that time just do something for yourself if you can. Get a bath, wash and dry your hair, even putting on clean pyjamas or jogging bottoms made me feel like a Queen when I had a 4 week old! Baby steps at this point x