Sex as a dialogue - am I strange?

[PrettyLittleCryer]

Not sure if I'm wanting the abnormal.

I've felt for a long time that something is missing. Sex is perfectly nice (albeit infrequent, totally my fault) with DH. But it feels very much like him doing sex to me, if that makes sense. I've asked and asked for more communication and he does try but I think either I'm not explaining myself well or what I want is just weird.

I don't mean dirty talk.

I literally mean sex is a dialogue between us. A running conversation where we check in on if things are good, what works, what we like, what we could try. Maybe laugh and joke. At the moment it's largely silent except for his efforts at some horny talk because I said I like talk.

Is that just not the way it should be in a longterm loving relationship? Maybe I talk too much!

I can relate but with the gender roles reversed.

For years I have tried to get dialogue going with my wife during sex to enhance the intimacy. But no success.

T fre l the sex is only a quarter of the quality it could be.

@CuriousD I'm beginning to think it's just a difference in communication and thinking styles and maybe something I can't change. For me, I struggle to really get into it without that...it just feels empty, like my body can be satisfied but my heart and mind really aren't. I often finish sex feeling quite lonely. But for DH I don't think it's like that at all - he just isn't the same. I don't know how to explain any better what's needed though; surely they either get it or they don't?

What happens if you take the lead? And start the conversation you're hoping for? It sounds like he thinks you are after dirty talk and isn't comfortable with that? Have you tried asking him the questions you want him to ask you?

Very recently given this a try, and it does seem to be helping although can't say I'm wonderful at it myself