Any Advice Please To Help An Older Man Reach Orgasm?

[SenoritaNaturista]

This is my second question, wondering if there are any men who could give me pointers or advice?

My live apart partner, retired, 9 years older, struggles to reach orgasm through any means. This does not impact me, there is huge enjoyment in any close contact, just simply that he is never able to reach orgasm and I want to help him.

He spent most of his life single so he will have had decades of knowing what pleasure works for himself. (death-grip or suchlike) and I have bern gently working around set patterns

He has recovered from some very serious health issues, and this coupled with age, despite his fitness, means that it is all honestly a bonus anyway.

He describes (my other earlier post) that he sometimes uses Viagra at home as a solo, boring rainy afternoon, leisure activity (!), says he can orgasm, but that it literally takes three hours to get there.

Over a period of 7 years I have been kind, open, unusually adventurous, patient, tried and researched many things, all without success for him….not for want of trying.

So, I am asking for any advice, tips or experiences here that can be shared which might help me to help him achieve a result?

Vibrator

Delayed Ejaculation can be a life long issue for some men, if you have been trying for 7 years I would guess his a lifelong issue, has he had any medical checks for this issue?
www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/delayed-ejaculation/symptoms-causes/syc-20371358

Have you thought of a toy? These are highly rated www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/male-sex-toys/male-masturbators/p/fleshlight-flight-pilot-male-masturbator/a24226g35948.html

Might not be what you're thinking of but may be a start?

My opinion as a man is that the situation you describe is not going to get better or reverse course.

There is a factor that I think you have not mentioned, that is that in general one no longer finds it as exciting as one might have done initially, to have sex with a person that they've known for a long time.

Couple this with ageing, and that'll go to explain up to about 80% why I think that that is irreversible, 20% to do with other speculative factors or 'unknown' factors.

If you want better sex your best options are improving the way you do it yourself, or seeking another partner. I suspect the latter would be more rewarding, though also more involving, time-consuming, expensive, unpredictable, and/or risky. List any drawbacks you may wish, but once you're done bear in mind, still, the potential for reward may make them worthwhile.

One of the factors about finding other partners, casual or semi-permanent, is of course going to be what way you expect your husband will react if he finds out. Negative reactions in this area may include one or more of jealousy, anger, reproaches, or wanting to dissolve the relationship. From some partners you'd expect all four, from others none, and from some only some of them. In my case, I think there's only one of those my wife may reasonably expect (and I'm not going to say which), and the others she might discount them. Then again, the remaining one I'm only going to enact if it's in my convenience to do so - I don't expect it'd be like an impulse, but rather an option; I might as well do nothing.

Every husband's going to be different. There's no rule to predict them all. I'd expect them to be as different from me as I am from them. And your own husband I do not know. And they may do whatever they like. Everyone suit themselves.

I'd say the more predictable your husband is and the more you would tend to think that his reaction is only going to be neutral or mildly negative, the least you'll need to abstain from seeking another partner to satisfy on the side your desire for good sex. If that's the case I'd say consider yourself lucky, make some moves to go for it, and don't miss a good chance. Everyone gets older and so will you. There are some things you'll wish you'd done earlier in life that you'll no longer be able to do again when you're older. If there's any chance you may want to do this, do it before your age becomes the primary obstacle.

I recommend this because I'd approve of this as advice for either a man or a woman. I'm aware other people will disapprove of this and cite words like 'cheat', 'unfaithful', etc etc. I've been long enough on MN to know that. Still, it shouldn't dissuade me from speaking out what I think are my thoughts. If it did MN would be a place for majority rule and censorship. I'd like to think it is not (though at times the pressure to conform is strong). I think, therefore I post.

Take time over it - after all it's a great chance to do that when you're older - accept that the chap won't cum every time - focus on the lady's pleasure - try new stuff (reading this page should give you some ideas).

Keep your enthusiasm and a sense of humour! And enjoy - I also didn't know recently that guys can cum without an election. They can!

But is Boris Johnson one of them?