Problems with my boyfriend

[FloF]

My boyfriend has recently been having problems getting hard in the bedroom. He can only get semi hard - not enough for penetration.

Then he has had this weird thing where he comes almost instantly when not hardly erect.

I don’t want to sound unkind but this is literally rubbish for me. I mean it takes ten
min to get him anywhere near hard and then it’s over in seconds.

Is this normal? I’m beginning to think it’s me!

does anyone have any tips please? Obviously I’ve not mentioned this to him as I don’t want to make him feel bad.

Hello. Not getting hard enough for him to penetrate you is probably not normal. Depends to a degree in his age though. 20's to even 50's certainly not normal. Failure to achieve an erection could be caused by many things e.g. Stress, excess drinking, or some underlying health conditions for example. Beyond 60 it's probably fair to say a sizeable proportion of men have trouble getting hard at least some of the time...he will know he has an issue. You do need to sit with him and reassure him that you two can sort it....ultimately he may need a health check or make changes to his lifestyle or what ever...less stress, stop smoking etc. However it may well be a confidence/mental block only....if us men think we will fail to rise...we generally fail to rise and it's a vicious circle. Positive reassurance from you and maybe a viagra to ensure erection happens will break the cycle and normal service will resume....good luck...

If he's uncircumcised, could this be a problem with his foreskin? There are cases where it can be easily retracted when he is flaccid, so it's not obvious that there is a problem.

But when he has a full-blooded erection he can't comfortably move the foreskin over the glans - it's either up or down. And when it's down it can strangulate the shaft.

So psychologically he associates full erections with pain and holds off from getting them. That will inhibit his sexual function and cause psychological inhibition too. Since the foreskin doesn't easily slide up and down over the head, it interferes with his ability to feel pleasure from penetration. But when when he does feel pleasure, he cums straight away!

Having a bit of a tight frenulum can be another factor in this.

I'm saying this as a man who has this very same issue and I've avoided relationships/sex for much of my life because of it. I'm currently wondering whether to get circumsized (have a second appointment with a urologist lined up, at the first he seemed to be saying don't bother). So just wondered if your partner might have the same issue.

Or is this something new and he hasn't always been like this?

@BalsamicOnEverything makes a good point that may be the problem. My DH had a lesser minor problem but decided to have a circumcision as he preferred the cosmetic look. He had it done and is really happy with the result, as am I as it looks really nice.

Just go to a specialist clinic, not the local hospital (have to pay though). You can choose different methods that have a better result. My DH had the Pollock method and was literally a couple of minutes to do and brilliant cosmetic result.

Hi, thanks so much for the replies. I don’t think this is a problem with his foreskin.

Its only recently started. I might ask him to go to the GP for a health check.

thanks again