So, been a long-time viewer/poster here, but would like some input as running out of ideas. I think I'm at a point where I have to decide between splitting up the family or living with almost no intimacy from my 40s until the end.
We don’t seem able to prioritise intimacy between us and this leads us to DTD probably once every 4 or 5 weeks. This usually follows the same routine formula. I have given up initiating because it hurt to be knocked back time after time. We don’t discuss sex, don’t generate any excitement with each other. Feels like we are doing the bear minimum to be able to say we are a married couple rather than people who live together looking after 3 kids between 8 and 14.
I bring this up sometimes and get told that monthly is enough and since we seem to enjoy it there’s nothing more to do. No oral, no play, no anticipation, no variety. I’ve suggested seeing a professional, but this hasn’t happened.
As a family we always have a lot on. I think somehow we’re waiting for the world to slow down so this moves to the top of the list, but it never does. It feels like my OH is saying take it or leave it, and I’m left feeling unwanted, and even like a sex pest because I think it could be so much more.
Has anyone been in this position and been able to get past it? It's been like this for a few years and I don't see a great way forward.