Male Sex Drive question.

[NatuKatu]

My first venture to this board and a name change.

Is there any non medical way to increase a man's sex drive?

DP early 50s. Non smoker or drinker. No medical conditions. Averagely fit, not over weight. No stress. Long and stable monogamous relationship.

He is about as ordinary as they come ( in a good way)

But he's just not as 'active' as he was and I feel all the advances come from me. Which is messing with my self esteem.
Many long chats over several years. He thinks we do it more often than we do. His equipment still works although possibly with less..um...vigour. He's not at the stage where he needs viagra.
I think he needs to get his testosterone checked but he will not. It won't happen no matter how many times I suggest or beg.
He totally refuses to go to the GP. He is in denial.

Are there any herbal supplements or something he could take? Vitamins? Is there something that other men of this age do or can suggest?

Testosterone may be driving it. We all get older and things change. It sounds like he's not at the point where he just wants to stir his tea with it mind.

Try and talk it through with him, raise your concerns and what it's meaning for you. You can't force him to get blood tests but it may spark him into action if he properly understands your feelings and its not seen as a critique of his approach to sex. Do things sideways with blokes. We tend to shut off from direct lines on sensitive topics.

If theres no other physical reason (perhaps other than age), is there something going g o In his head? Is there stress at work? Something distracting him/stopping getting in the zone? We can't just flick and switch and it's a comedy boing noise all the time, much as we'd like to! I wouldn't take the need for viagra as a "defeat"/bad thing.

No idea on health conditions he may have, but ashwaghanda, beetroot and im sure there are more out there are supposedly good for it if he's otherwise healthy.

Good luck

52 yr old male, sadly these days.I'm certainly not as sensitive and more twice a night than three now.
What works is variety , build up, dirty weekends, date nights - exploration together - anything but routine.
Yes i work hard, long commute, get tired on weekdays but i keep myself in shape and work together with my partner on intimacy for mutual enjoyment.
We've been in that rut and found fun ways out of it.

If he goes to the GP for a testosterone check they won’t do anything unless his level is very low, the sex drive of 50 something men is not a high priority for the NHS.

the normal stuff applies, weight, fitness levels , check out Numan for a general blood test

welcome.numan.com/blood-test-health-check/ppc-fear-nothing-mbg

the other thing would be try more sex in the mornings ( does he get hard in the morning), as his natural testosterone levels will be at their highest.

you can try supplements, but you should get everything you need from your diet and supplements are often just passed in urine

www.numan.com/subscribe/supplements/740ab8ce-0797-4f1d-82a8-042a5ba14d21/product-selection

He absolutely point blank refuses to go to the GP.
He doesn't think there is anything wrong.

Physically and mentally he's totally average. Nothing has changed. It's generally a decline.

No morning arousal but then we are woken up by an alarm for work.

I have discussed things with him until I'm exhausted.
I was hoping for a magic answer! I think he'd take vitamins but probably not anything else

Physically and mentally he's totally average. Nothing has changed. It's generally a decline.

He sounds like me, I’m 52 pretty average and it sounds like pretty average ageing unless there is something drastically wrong with him like he is constantly exhausted or physically weak, my sex drive has declined over the last few years to a point where I wonder sometimes if I’ll ever bother again with sex, ( but probably will)

So long as his diet is OK and he has no underlying health issues it may be down to testosterone. Not aware of any supplements that increase testosterone. There is some circumstantial evidence that L-arginine and L-citruline may improve arousal as they are natural amino acids associated with the biochemistry of obtaining erections. I'm late 50's and take them occasionally. I still get very firm morning erections and I would have sex daily if we could...
Both supplements above are available from many good healthcare shops both on line and high street. Maybe worth a try...

No morning arousal but then we are woken up by an alarm for work.

try thinking about some sexy early weekend sex, shared bath / shower on a lazy Sunday morning, as an older man I prefer quality to quantity these days

I think it's testosterone too.
It might just be normal ageing but I don't have anyone to ask in real life!

I don't know if he genuinely doesn't think there is anything wrong or it's a massive cover up for his ( non admitted) doctor phobia.

How normal is it for men to still get morning erections in their mid 50s?
He doesn't seem to get any until we start things. Then he's more or less ok but maybe they aren't quite what they were. It always works but he's not at 100% all the time but not quite enough of a decline to cause concern.

Some reputable online pharmacies offer testosterone testing and treatment, with prescription by Nhs doctors.

@NatuKatu honestly that all sounds pretty normal, if can still get and maintain an erection everything is working okay
i would say look at diet and activities, as a 50 something man staying fit and active is probably the key thing

Weighing in here as I was totally naive about male sexuality waning. STBXH was as vigorous as ever when we stopped having sex (marital breakdown) when he was 64. He said that other men needed viagra but I honestly had no idea that was the case.
Anyway… dating a guy 54 yo who has had difficulty getting an erection, then maintaining it, and couldn’t come.
Then turns out this is fairly common.
As previous poster said, novelty seems to be the key- especially grabbing him at unexpected and semi-public places etc.and eg wearing no knickers and telling him just as we are eg ringing the bell of friends house for dinner.
That was a great taxi ride home later 😊