Do women overthink?

[Overthinkingwoman]

When I met my DP I had quite low confidence, I was often critical about my body etc and felt self-conscious during sex. My DP used to compliment me and try and raise my confidence but I never really believed it. I always felt that having smaller boobs and a visible labia wasn’t what he’d like. Recently, we had a discussion and he turned around and said, these things you speak about I don’t see, your boobs arouse me every time I see them, they’re perfectly round and I won’t add what he said about my down below ☺️
This really had me thinking about how our own perception of our bodies can be quite different to how men see our bodies. Before, I probably wouldn’t have believed him, I don’t know why. So do we as women often think the worst, when actually our men adore our bodies regardless of what we think?

In my experience the answer is "yes".

I think my wife's body is incredibly sexy. Everything in just the right proportions for me even after two children. I tell her this at least three times a day.

But that doesn't stop her wishing her breasts weren't larger and perkier every day. And being reluctant to have sex in full daylight.

My personal perception is that society puts more pressure on women to conform to an image than men and I feel that although hang ups over body image aren't confined to women, I think that men's egos are such that we can generally be more forgiving to ourselves or have s better perception of our bodies regardless of how they look than women do with themselves.

I personally think that women can be enormously self critical and see things that men don't notice. I'm not sure whether that matters in the sense that I don't think that women should seek the approval of a man but I do think that it is good for the partner to offer some perspective.

Yes I'm very self critical.

My partner and previous partner have been very enthusiastic about my body (I have the same hang ups as you btw OP and even consider surgery for both issues from time to time).

I enjoy that my partner and previous partner are turned on by me but sometimes I wonder if they are just stupid and haven't realised how gross and ugly my bits are. I think it might be intrusive thoughts?

All women (and men come to think of it) are different. Certainly the media promote certain body types and imply that they are somehow best. The real world is different. Men are all different....as are their likes...small big thin fat...it just doesn't matter. Personally I prefer smaller boobs. My DP doesn't shave...natural bush...and has lovely visible labia...she's gorgeous and extremely sexy. I bet your OH thinks exactly the same about you...really it's the person, their personality and who they are that really matters and not what their boobs and bits look like...let's be honest...a man's penis isn't the most aesthetically pleasing of things either!

Thank you for all of the positive replies. I think often society gives us a warped view of womens bodies, I think this leads men and women to perceive that a certain body shape, boob size, vulva appearance etc is more desirable than others. Thankfully, I’ve never had a negative comment from a man but I still struggle to accept that my DP loves my body exactly how it is, I almost think that he’s not being truthful, I know this is entirely my own self-critical thinking but recently I realise that maybe he does actually mean it. He has no body hang-ups so maybe he isn’t able to understand it as well, he almost finds it baffling I have these thoughts. I realise I am also lucky to have such a great man!

@Kitten2 Try not to see it as not normal, as there is a huge variation to normal but instead unique and that’s what makes us who we are 🙂