No sex drive? | Mumsnet

EC15 · 2022-06-05T18:58:50+00:00

I gave birth to my little one 14 months ago. Since having her I have little to no sex drive. My partner always says how boring i am now. i suffered pnd. has anyone else had a similar thing?

notlongtoo · 05/06/2022 20:17

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Original poster

EC15 · 05/06/2022 21:11

He doesnt seem to know what sensitive is. He always says how he feels like im ‘fridgid’. But as you just said I just feel more bothered about getting to bed and getting sleep.
Ofcourse i want to make him happy but it doesnt happen as much as he would like xx

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notlongtoo · 07/06/2022 10:15

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SparklingStars10 · 07/06/2022 10:38

Is your partner generally supportive? Does he help you care for your toddler and get involved with the housework? Calling someone frigid isn’t going to encourage someone to want to have sex with them. If you want to have more sex, then work on that together.

IssaBaby · 07/06/2022 14:52

Anyone using the word frigid is just awful.
Sorry you are feeling this way. I had PND after I had DD and I was the opposite and really needed the intimacy but never got it.
Have a talk about what exactly it is you both want and need, and take it from there.
With you, maybe you need more rest and opportunity to rekindle what was there before. See if you can get a babysitter or have family take your little one for the night. Date again. Have moments as a couple. Be the people you were before your child came along. Even if only for a couple of hours here and there.

One day, just initiate it yourself. It'll make you feel like a new woman!

However have good conversations first. Him pushing won't help. However if he understands that actually you might need a massage and lots of kisses and cuddles, it may lead to you actually wanting to do it in return.

Original poster

EC15 · 07/06/2022 22:00

IssaBaby · 07/06/2022 14:52

Anyone using the word frigid is just awful.
Sorry you are feeling this way. I had PND after I had DD and I was the opposite and really needed the intimacy but never got it.
Have a talk about what exactly it is you both want and need, and take it from there.
With you, maybe you need more rest and opportunity to rekindle what was there before. See if you can get a babysitter or have family take your little one for the night. Date again. Have moments as a couple. Be the people you were before your child came along. Even if only for a couple of hours here and there.

One day, just initiate it yourself. It'll make you feel like a new woman!

However have good conversations first. Him pushing won't help. However if he understands that actually you might need a massage and lots of kisses and cuddles, it may lead to you actually wanting to do it in return.

Thankyou so much i will definitely take that on board! I just always feel too exhausted and when im recharged on a weekend on my days off he normally books work in😅x

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Original poster

EC15 · 07/06/2022 22:02

SparklingStars10 · 07/06/2022 10:38

Is your partner generally supportive? Does he help you care for your toddler and get involved with the housework? Calling someone frigid isn’t going to encourage someone to want to have sex with them. If you want to have more sex, then work on that together.

Not really no. He occasionally helps with things but very rare. He says its because i work 4 9hr days and he works 6 sometimes he will book an extra day in. Yes when i get called it, i literally just feel like i dont want to do it even more x

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Original poster

EC15 · 07/06/2022 22:04

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I hope so. I just feel really useless but at the same time i just cant help it.
I feel like I’ve lost all energy with work too as im just so tired all of the time.
I’ll definitely take that on board though thankyou so much x

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