Sexual issue with DH—blowjobs

[Astralmommy]

Hello all, first post here. My husband and I have done a lot of communicating about our sex life lately, and we identified some issues to work on. Coming here for advice.

Just a bit of context—he is an awesome partner and always interested in meeting my needs, both in and out of the bedroom.

One issue right now is oral sex. I give him a full bj (like where he finishes in my mouth—that’s his favorite) maybe once every month or two. Sometimes less. I guess I thought this was a good rhythm, but he’s expressed the desire for more regular blowjobs—when I asked what his ideal was, he laughed and said “every day!”. I’m usually not opposed to them, but maybe I’ve been in a rut lately. I really do want to please him fully and meet his needs, as he does for me. Any tips on finding more enthusiasm for it and making it a more regular thing?

Doing the same thing everyday will get very boring very quickly!

When you give him a bj does he also give you oral sex?
How do you orgasm on the days you do them?

I think it’s fine asking for them more regularly but only if you’re enjoying yourself on those days too.

They definitely shouldn’t be an everyday thing.
If you commit to doing them regularly then it could cause arguments down the line.

Nothing will kill your sex life faster than doing things you don’t want to do.

Definitely needs to be compromise in possibly more but part of sex so no completion. Surely once he's finished that's sex done so not very reciprical.
Very few women enjoy men coming in their mouths. It's really not equivalent to oral on women

I think you are very selfish OP. You should be doing this at morning, noon and night at the very least.
What is wrong with you?

OP: Asks for help with compromising.

Mumsnetters: Respond with a load of adversarial extremism.

Any tips on finding more enthusiasm for it and making it a more regular thing?

When I ask women what they get from it, they usually say that they like the control aspect, of being able to make him react. Can you enjoy that part of it? If you can then you might be able to find more enthusiasm for doing it more often.

Also, have you tried sexting during the working day when you're apart? Building up some tension during the day, before you can be together, can help make things explosive later on.

i reported too but MN has removed my comment 🤷‍♀️

Personally it seems like some over-reactions to this post. But, each to their own.
I think one way to look at it is that he has taken a risk and opened up to you about his desire or need for more frequent sexual behaviour.
It doesn't have to be one sided at all.

I think he is being open and honest about how often he masturbates to orgasm, and is wondering if he could include you in that.

You don't have to go down on him every single day. Although he probably would not refuse? Would you be happy with him going down on you every day?
If not then what's the issue?

He's probably masturbating and feeling like it should be a secret. Maybe offer to help him out when he does that. Either by you taking part and giving him a quick handjob? Or maybe you watch him masturbate? Maybe undo your top button and let him look at you? All of those can be thrilling and exciting.

If you feel as if you've been stuck in a rut, it can be good to change the record and mix things up a little.

i reported too but MN has removed my comment

I think it may be because troll hunting is banned.

There have been a few of them over the past couple of days which I assume is because it’s half term but surely no one is so pathetic to make one up about bjs!

Very good user name
Almost missed that

Enjoy your own pleasure, and enjoy the pleasure you give him. Now you know how much he enjoys it, bring it more within your radar. As long as you feel comfortable with it, and do enjoy his reaction.

Are there things he does which are more about enjoying your reaction and the fact that he is giving you pleasure than for his own direct sensation?

You're not an object. I give DP a BJ maybe twice a year because I dislike it. That's my choice. If that's not enough he can leave.

His comment of "every day" was ;probably tongue in cheek (pun intended) as daily blow jobs would become boring for both giver and receiver. The underlying message is probably that he would like them more frequently so simply slip an extra BJ each week at a random time when you are able to get him to reciprocate.

It's not really a big deal!

Of course he laughed and said "every day". I'd imagine most men would appreciate a daily BJ. However, I very much doubt he was seriously expecting you to give him a daily BJ in reality!

I don't think you can force yourself to be enthusiastic about oral if you're not that keen. Making yourself do something you're not enjoying is a road to resentment and upset.

You say you're not opposed to giving him oral so why not just incorporate it into your foreplay more regularly..? He doesn't have to finish in your mouth every time.

I give DH a BJ every time we have sex…..it plays a major part of our foreplay. However, in terms of actually letting him finish in my mouth…..I’ve probably let him do that about 10 times in 12 years!

I love giving oral sex but I HATE the taste/sensation of ejaculate in my mouth!!

The last time I did it I actually started retching as soon as I felt it in my mouth. I had to run to the bathroom and I nearly threw up in the sink.

He knows not to bother asking anymore 😂