Focus on the woman

[spencerspencer]

Not sure quite how to word this but whilst dipping my toe back into dating after the breakdown of my relationship, I've been speaking with several different men about what we both like in the bedroom.

Some of these are dates with the potential for a relationship, some are more of a potential FWB situation.

The reoccurring theme (and something that really surprises me) is that when I ask them to describe what turns them on or what they would like me to do to them, 100% of the answers are that they want to be the giver of pleasure rather than the receiver, and that me having a good time is what gives them the enjoyment. I've even had men say things like they want me to use them selfishly for my own pleasure without worrying about returning the favour.

So. Is this all a disingenuous attempt to come across as generous in bed, or is it really true that for many men the single biggest turn on in the bedroom is making a woman come?

It's been a while since I've been with someone new and the idea of two people both solely focused on her pleasure rather than his seems somewhat unbalanced! Clearly when the time comes I plan to reciprocate but the strength of feeling behind this from their side has surprised me...

Sounds wonderful. Enjoy 👏

Is this all a disingenuous attempt to come across as generous in bed, or is it really true that for many men the single biggest turn on in the bedroom is making a woman come?

I wouldn’t say it’s the single biggest turn on, but I have found when you make a woman cum first they are much keener to reciprocate and it’ more likely you are going to having better sex and more sex

I'd much rather give head than receive it. As a woman attracted to women i should add. I get incredibly turned on whilst doing it and can finish myself off (sorry if TMI).

I've had this said to me recently too.
One partner it seemed quite genuine.

The giver is generally the one in control of things

I Absolutely love seeing Mrs F having a fun time
I usually get her to cum once or twice before she really starts on me ( my favourite is giving her lots of oral)

she loves to watch me having a great time as well so generally who initiates is giving most at first
we seem to initiate about 50/50 or something, finding someone who you are compatible with is the key

I'm a giver more than a receiver.

It is a huge turn on to give pleasure to a woman, particularly through oral to climax - moaning, writhing ...

I'm definitely in the "give to recieve" camp. My most recent partners enjoy being the centre of attention, and to be with a man that isn't focused on his own pleasure. It's certainly surprised a couple, and long may that continue.

My driver is that my xw wouldn't let me do much of anything (piv three or four times a year, if I was lucky, and nothing else!), so actually being allowed to touch a woman means I want to savour every second...