I seem to have issues around sex and I’m not sure if it’s psychological or physical.
My partner wants to pleasure me but I feel too vulnerable and panic. I’ve never had an orgasm with a man because I feel embarrassed. My partner says he’ll finish me off when he’s done but that makes me feel worse because I feel guilty the attention is on me, not to mention the pressure to enjoy it and not knowing where to look, where to put my hands etc. I can orgasm in minutes alone and find I do have a very high sex drive, just with another person it disappears and I have no interest. I can get wet instantly but there’s no pleasure and I feel bored during sex even if we try something new and exciting I have no interest. He has some fetishes that make my skin crawl but I let him do them. He gets all the pleasure and constant orgasms so I get resentful and switch off refusing to have sex for some time. I do love him and we are very happy in general but I don’t know how to make myself relax and enjoy sex without being shy or awkward. Could I be assexual? Is there anything else that causes this other than the usual?