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What’s wrong with me?

4 replies

Candygrabber · 25/05/2022 18:49

I seem to have issues around sex and I’m not sure if it’s psychological or physical.
My partner wants to pleasure me but I feel too vulnerable and panic. I’ve never had an orgasm with a man because I feel embarrassed. My partner says he’ll finish me off when he’s done but that makes me feel worse because I feel guilty the attention is on me, not to mention the pressure to enjoy it and not knowing where to look, where to put my hands etc. I can orgasm in minutes alone and find I do have a very high sex drive, just with another person it disappears and I have no interest. I can get wet instantly but there’s no pleasure and I feel bored during sex even if we try something new and exciting I have no interest. He has some fetishes that make my skin crawl but I let him do them. He gets all the pleasure and constant orgasms so I get resentful and switch off refusing to have sex for some time. I do love him and we are very happy in general but I don’t know how to make myself relax and enjoy sex without being shy or awkward. Could I be assexual? Is there anything else that causes this other than the usual?

OP posts:
Lex345 · 25/05/2022 20:38

The biggest cause that is screaming out here is "he has fetishes that make my skin crawl, but I let him do them"

Why on earth are you allowing this? Its not asexuality-you say you have a high sex drive and orgasm through masturbation. The sex he wants vs what you want is mismatched. I also wouldn't like a man to tell me he would "finish me off"

BiscuitLover3678 · 25/05/2022 20:47

Lex345 · 25/05/2022 20:38

The biggest cause that is screaming out here is "he has fetishes that make my skin crawl, but I let him do them"

Why on earth are you allowing this? Its not asexuality-you say you have a high sex drive and orgasm through masturbation. The sex he wants vs what you want is mismatched. I also wouldn't like a man to tell me he would "finish me off"

This!! You are tuning out, I’m sorry.

sex is incredibly psychological.

Candygrabber · 25/05/2022 22:06

They’re not awful fetishes in general they’re very common but not to my taste so I get nothing out of them I do it to make him happy but I’m upset or hurt etc I just see it as another thing he gets to enjoy while I’m short changed! I think you’re right I’m zoning out from boredom but I guess I’m considering if it could be a sensory issues as I’m trying to get diagnosed with possible autism at the moment

OP posts:
Lex345 · 25/05/2022 22:18

It really doesn't matter how mainstream or common they are-YOU don't like them. Sex is not the time to be doing things only to make one person happy to the detriment of the other. Compromise only if you are comfortable with it, within firm boundaries of what is and is not OK. Everyone has boundaries. It is OK to not like certain things.

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