Nc as embarrassed
Dp was previously always up for sex and would initiate most of the time
he was unwell for a bit and didn’t have the energy for sex for some time after so despite having a high sex drive I didn’t push for any sex and waited until he began to initiate again
the problem is he didn’t get us back on track and we rarely have sex now
i told him it got to me as sex is important to me so he tried his best but didn’t seem like he was really into it which made me upset and we stopped
I have tried to talk to him about how I feel that although I don’t want to pressure him sex is part of a healthy relationship and when we do have sex it’s very average I never orgasm and it’s over in minutes so I’m getting frustrated, most men want to rip off their partners clothes and enjoy some passion occasionally but it’s become missionary only bland and boring
when we do have sex I now end up crying because I want more than anything for our sex life to be how it was but I’m so ashamed and embarrassed like it’s wrong for me to want amazing sex and orgasms occasionally, I’m scared to initiate and try and spice things up out of fear of being rejected, and if it did go back to normal then I would still feel so self Conscious I will struggle to open up sexually in case he is doing it to keep me happy but I day dream about sex like it is in the movies
I don’t want us to split but I don’t know what to do to make it easier on both of us as I respect him not wanting sex often anymore but it’s unfair to want it over and done with when we do have sex I can sense he’s not that fussed so I can’t relax and enjoy it either even though he says he enjoyed it
how can I get my confidence back so I can try and initiate how we were and hope it gets him back in the mood? Or how do I accept that our sex life is now awful? I don’t know how to approach this so I would appreciate some advice that doesn’t include ltb