Help! Too much discharge = no friction during sex

[Newbie1987loz]

Hi everyone, bit of an embrassing problem, but could do with your help. For as long as I can remember I’ve always been very wet down there, regardless of whether I’m aroused or not, it’s 24/7. Not anything leaking out as such, but very wet inside (sorry TMI). This means sometimes there’s very little friction for neither me nor my partner after a while during sex, and my partner has difficulty getting to climax as a result. My GP has said this is just the way I am and that there’s no infection etc or hormone imbalance that he can tell.

Has anyone had this same problem and found a solution? I’ve tried antihistamines and decongestion meds but they don’t seem to help. Any ideas (medicated or otherwise)? Sex just isn’t enjoyable anymore :-( Thanks I’m advance!!!

I don't think I'm as extreme as you describe, but I definitely know what you mean. Usually half way through sex I start to become too wet that I can't really feel much anymore. One person said I was the wettest girl he'd been with and that it was a good thing, I'm not so sure lol. I haven't mentioned anything to my current partner as it's embarrassing! He hasn't complained but maybe he doesn't know what to say!?

I'm like this too, and I've even had comments when going for smear tests that I have a lot of discharge. All tests come back fine, so it just seems to be the way I am. No one's complained about it though.

I know you won't have the answers, but I just feel like I need to vent and maybe hear others' views or experiences! I met my boyfriend almost a year ago and we get on so well. I felt very early on that we were a good match. Sex isn't as adventurous as it has been with my exes, but I'd made peace with that and just gave him some nudges on what I like and what is/isn't working for me. I'm not sure whether that has knocked his confidence. We haven't had sex for 5 months now and I get absolutely zero feeling that he wants it but is too shy to try it on. He's been stressed with his job lately, and I think autumn/winter really affects him negatively. He's used the stress as his reason for not wanting sex, and claims that he isn't masturbating either, but I'm just not sure I believe him. I have no reason to think he's cheating, so can't help but think it's me. I have put on a tiny bit of weight, and maybe he just doesn't get excited by me anymore. We both also think he has ADHD, and I know some men can lose interest in things that no longer give them the dopamine hit, so maybe because I'm not new, young or exciting to him anymore, he's lost sexual interest in me. I've tried talking to him but he just blames stress. Hence why I'm reaching out to you all to see if anyone else has had a similar experience, especially so early in a relationship and/or with a partner with ADHD!

It is a well maintained myth that if a woman is sexually aroused, then she will be/get wet. Sexual arousal often has nothing to do with vaginal lubrication - it is entirely controlled by a combination of your hormones and your menstrual cycle. It will more than likely change as you head into perimenopause and menopause. But until then, there is nothing you can do. (Can't quite get my head around why you would think antihistamines and decongestants would do anything).

It is worth tracking your menstrual cycle as there will be times you are less juicy (for wont of a better word). It is also worth considering that women are drier and produce less lubrication during their period, so this could be the answer. Also, a textured condom will provide a more friction.

If your partner is unable to climax through penetration, bring him to orgasm using your hands, breasts or mouth, or a combination of all three. There's so much more to sex than penetration.

I'd end it OP. You've only been together a year and haven't had sex for 5 months. Nah. Sounds like too much worry and stress for something that's is relatively new. If sex isn't important to him or he's got a low sex drive, that isn't going to change. If he's not able to climax through penetration, that isn't normal and why should you settle for no sex?

It sounds to me a bit like there's a broader relationship problem here. It's not just about how wet (or otherwise) one gets, it sounds like something's getting in the way of physical intimacy. After all, it's perfectly possible for happy, well matched people to enjoy and celebrate wetness, or at least find ways of working around it!

Sadly, people lose desire for one another sometimes. I know everyone loves a diagnosis - ooh, it's ADHD, it's autism, it's stress and so on. Try this tablet. But equally, it's part and parcel of the human condition. It might be possible to revitalise desire, but as this has happened so early in the relationship, it sounds like you'd be in it for the long haul, with sex forever tied into this medico-therapeutic frame. Which is a bit of a passion killer in its own right. Maybe it's easier to move on . . .