Clitoral and vaginal stimulation.

[PaddlingLikeADuck]

During forelay, my DH putting his fingers inside me does absolutely nothing for me. I used to just pull his hand away and put it back over my clitoris and he eventually realised that putting his fingers into my vagina doesn’t sexually arouse me at all.

I was watching a TV show the other day where there were men talking about “how to finger a girl properly” and they were discussing various techniques about how they bring their partners to orgasm by putting their fingers in her vagina and doing various motions.

As I was watching it I realised that I couldn’t relate to it all.

I absolutely love penetrative sex with my DH and I will orgasm as a result but I imagine that’s because that’s because my clitoris is being stimulated too.

I have a vibrator which I use regularly but again, just for clitoral stimulation. It wouldn’t even occur to me to insert it inside because I just can’t imagining it doing anything for me.

My husband joked once about buying me a dildo, or “The Rabbit” and neither of them appealed at all because all I could think was “why would I want to stick something inside me?!”

Am I the only one in this position?

Am I missing out on something amazing?

Maybe all my sexual partners (past and present) have been doing it wrong because I’ve never had pleasure from being fingered (hate that term) and if anything I just find it strange.

Another only one?

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Some women have vaginal orgasms, others don’t. If you don’t, you don’t, it’s not strange or an indicator your partner is doing it wrong - they’re only doing it wrong if they keep on trying to do something when you’ve already told them it doesn’t do anything for you.

I've only been able to cum from penetrative sex over the last couple of years. Exploring different positions is what did it.
I love rabbit vibrators. I hold the shaft still inside me as the ears vibrate on my clit and that what makes me orgasm. It's a clitoral orgasm, not penetrative, but I like the way inserting it holds it in place properly so it's hitting the right spot and I like the feeling of being filled up. It all creates more pressure and sensation down there.

The clitoris is the prime female sex organ. But there are a lot of men out there who need educating.

Mainstream media/films/porn often classify "sex" as PIV and portray that women orgasm from that. In actual fact a minority of women orgasm from PIV alone, most need external clitoral stimulation. It's not you who's wrong or weird or broken, the problem stems from how sex is portrayed, specifically how female pleasure is portrayed and therefore how we (men and women) perceive women should attain orgasm.

I have been chastised by some women for concentrating on their clit, when they only want something inside and then chastised in the next relationship for not doing the total opposite!
Whilst I'm sure there are many exceptions, in my personal experience women have broadly fallen into this 'clitoral' OR 'vaginal' distinction.

@ordinaryman

I have been chastised by some women for concentrating on their clit, when they only want something inside and then chastised in the next relationship for not doing the total opposite! Whilst I'm sure there are many exceptions, in my personal experience women have broadly fallen into this 'clitoral' OR 'vaginal' distinction.

I've read research that suggests that vaginal orgasms are down to the extended parts of the clitoris being stimulated through the walls of the vagina, so therefore all orgasms are down to the clitoris, it's just different parts being stimulated. Assumed clitoral stimulation is really just the head of the clit. This makes sense I guess, but for me, it's a different sensation. I have more intense orgasms from my clit but I don't always like my husband touching it as it can feel too sensitive. I only really have clit orgasms though masturbation, where I can control it. When I'm with a partner I like them to fill me. I guess there's good parts to both. Sorry if that's too crude!

Both for me. But if it is a vaginal, I have to work for it. I have to clench and hold myself in the right position while he is either fingering or penetrating. It doesn't just happen, for example if I was to lay there. And I don't always manage to achieve it. Got to be just the right spot and pressure.

Clitoral orgasm for me isn't quite as intense, it's over quicker but I don't have to press or anything in the same way I do for the other one... so it's easier!

Yes, I think all the 'messages' go the same place, just different women prefer different 'delivery locations', if you get what I mean :)
I was just surprised at how specific the demand was, ie. 'NO, not there, HERE!' and 'NO, not here, THERE!'
With each, I was most definitely told off for doing the 'wrong' thing :)

I have a relatively new female partner. Her clit head is the smallest (or most well hidden!) and hardest to find to bring her to climax I have ever encountered. She mentioned being with a man and PIV used to do it for her but not anymore. Now she's with me, it's my tongue on her clit that works for her, but can't help wondering we could be missing out with some internal fun, a dildo or my fingers.
Any other ladies out there manage vaginally orgasms, but without an obvious g spot to work the magic on?