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Boundaries question

1 reply

Sexqforu · 14/04/2022 16:30

Hi, I am just looking for some insight on how to approach this situation.

Have a partner I’ve been with for a decent amount of time (years). We have always been pretty adventurous and willing to try new things and have done so.

Recently there have been conversions of things that are closer to the edge of boundaries, involving others (decided no) and new toys/accessories etc.

However I have started to get a bit annoyed by the approach. It has involved lots of exploring what others do and looking for new things. It’s rare I refuse to do or try something except some hard no’s but recently starting to think when I say I don’t want to try something or don’t want to do it a certain way. It’s met with some pushback/abruptness as though I’m being unreasonable or just saying so to be awkward.

I’m not but I had a very vanilla and unsatisfying sex life with other partners and now enjoying things a lot more I want to keep it that way and I am no longer willing to go along with something just to please a partner.

Just not sure how to approach this, I have said my point and raised it but maybe I did so in a bit of an abrupt way. Wondering whether we need to have a very frank chat about our expectations and how we discuss it all with eachother. Has anyone else had to do this?

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Sparkybloke · 14/04/2022 21:06

You probably do need a serious chat. Me and DP had a conversation early on about likes and dislikes. I would never ever dream of even suggesting something she has said she doesnt enjoy....period...Really important....your partner needs to respect what ever boundaries you have. No means no and any push back is simply not good at all....I'm sure everyone else here will agree....if he...I'm assuming he is a he...won't respect your boundaries of pressures you then really time to consider if you are suited to him.

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