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Original poster

Is pain normal?

14 replies

Fuzzyhippo · 12/04/2022 23:18

I've never been able to enjoy intercourse, it just doesn't feel like much to me at all. But recently it's become painful. Partner is on the larger side and I'm quite "shallow" so everytime he goes in too far I'm screaming in pain. It's like a very sharp cramp and can last a while. Is that normal??

OP posts:
lady725516 · 12/04/2022 23:42

No not normal. You shouldn't be screaming in pain!
Have you had a sexual health check? Sounds like he may be hitting your cervix.

Does different positions help?
I would speak to your gp or local GUM clinic

Lacedwithgrace · 12/04/2022 23:43

No! A little discomfort at first can be normal, factors like dryness or lack of foreplay can cause it but nothing should be causing pain! You might have vaginismus or something might not be quite right. Do get yourself checked out with a GP

Furrbabymama87 · 13/04/2022 08:36

When you say you don't enjoy intercourse, it makes me wonder if you're tensed up when he enters you. Sometimes with a larger man there's that initial discomfort as it goes in, then it starts to feel good as you widen up. I would see your GP though because screaming in pain isn't normal.

Namechangednorth · 14/04/2022 06:57

@Fuzzyhippo
No whilst a larger partner and you being more petite down there can lead to some pain at first, you shouldn't be feeling pain like you are.

My DH is larger. When we first DTD yes despite being very aroused and ready, it hurt. Simply I wasn't used to be stretched and having something that large in me. But with regular sex, it was like I got used to it and I stretched down there. If we don't have sex for a while it is like I have to get used to him again.

Try using some lube as well..especially during foreplay on his cock so it isn't like just having a gloop of it inside you. Put plenty on, hold his foreskin right back if he has one and massage it in before he penetrates you.

StarlightLady · 14/04/2022 07:38

No, it’s not normal. OP, how has sex been with others?

Annwen · 14/04/2022 12:03

I agree with @Furrbabymama87, with larger guys I've felt 'overstretched' when they first enter but that soon passes. So you need to get checked about this issue OP. Hope you get it sorted xx

LittleRen · 14/04/2022 15:52

You may have a tilted uterus. I do, and sometimes it feels like he is hitting my cervix esp in certain positions

Original poster
Fuzzyhippo · 14/04/2022 17:04

@StarlightLady

No, it’s not normal. OP, how has sex been with others?
Not sure as haven't been with anyone else. He's a bit selfish though so doesn't "work on" me first just goes straight in regardless. Looks like we're seperated now though but concerned about if I get into another relationship it would still hurt. I'll definitely have a word with the doctor though, I have mild prolapse from childbirth 6 years ago so I aways thought the pain was related to that.
OP posts:
Original poster
Fuzzyhippo · 14/04/2022 17:06

@LittleRen

You may have a tilted uterus. I do, and sometimes it feels like he is hitting my cervix esp in certain positions
Oh yes I do have a tilted uterus, completely forgot. That would explain it then as it's only in certain positions like doggy or legs up missionary where it hurts like a bitch!
OP posts:
StarlightLady · 14/04/2022 17:12

OP, l wondered as much, it sounds as if you have encountered a “banger” rather than someone skilled.

It helps if someone puts more focus on the pulling back rather than going forward, slowly and gently is the key, plenty of oral for you first and make it clear it’s not about hitting the cervix.

To quote my late mother “if it’s not making you feel nice, stop doing it”.

There’s a whole world of adventures for you out there. It should make you purr. Enjoy! 💓

If it hurts, it’s time to say stop!

LittleRen · 14/04/2022 17:49

I am exactly the same - cannot do doggy, so uncomfortable! Unless I am lying down on my front. Also as you say missionary with legs up… I guess anything that makes it even more angled makes it worse.

Original poster
Fuzzyhippo · 14/04/2022 18:02

@StarlightLady

OP, l wondered as much, it sounds as if you have encountered a “banger” rather than someone skilled.

It helps if someone puts more focus on the pulling back rather than going forward, slowly and gently is the key, plenty of oral for you first and make it clear it’s not about hitting the cervix.

To quote my late mother “if it’s not making you feel nice, stop doing it”.

There’s a whole world of adventures for you out there. It should make you purr. Enjoy! 💓

If it hurts, it’s time to say stop!

To be fair I was a first for him too and it was the same for the 7 years we were together, so he probably didn't have a clue what he was doing Grin The one thing he absolutely couldn't stand was oral, tried it once and he said never again even though there's nothing wrong with my personal hygiene
OP posts:
StarlightLady · 14/04/2022 18:31

Really doesn’t sound as if he knew what he was doing. And there is nothing unpleasant about oral either. For me it’s printed in the “conditions of travel” ticket to the bedroom! No oral - no entry!

Jumpking · 14/04/2022 20:51

@LittleRen

You may have a tilted uterus. I do, and sometimes it feels like he is hitting my cervix esp in certain positions
This, completely.

My ex was large and deep penetration like doggy or legs on shoulders missionary hit in completely the wrong place on my cervix and caused significant pain.

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