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Hubby’s sex drive

4 replies

Li60 · 10/04/2022 12:55

So we’ve always had a healthy sex life. However for the last year he’s just not bothered. I’ve tried talking to him and he says he’s stressed etc. I’m very understanding and don’t bring it up, but it’s getting to the point where I’m getting frustrated. I want regular sex, and I’m probably getting it once a month. We used to have morning sex on occasion and I can’t remember the last time we did that! He’s only 38 and I’m 40 is this what it’s going to be like for the rest of our lives? 😞 He recently closed his business and told me now he was employed he’d be less stressed , but nothings changed. If there are any men on here it’d be good to get your opinion on this. TIA

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Sparkybloke · 10/04/2022 17:10

Man here. Once a month is rather infrequent. Assuming the stress is gone might be worth having a health check...High blood pressure etc. Put plainly is he having trouble getting an erection? Fear of failure is a sure fire way to put us men off sex. If so worth getting a quick check. They might check testosterone levels too as low testosterone leads to lack of sex drive. Reduce alcohol consumption. Get fit..all helps. Hope you get things sorted...

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HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 10/04/2022 17:24

Unfortunately stress is an absolute libido killer, when I was going through redundancy it killed my sex drive stone dead overnight, and took ages to return, my GF could have paraded around the house naked and it would have made no difference, you just don’t think about about sex, it get pushed to the bottom of the list of things to have headspace for.

It probably will return eventually and don’t be worried too much if he can’t get an erection for a while ( but he will be deeply ashamed about this, I was), just be there and cuddle him in bed, be close etc, his sex drive will return in its own time.

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Li60 · 10/04/2022 20:52

He says when he gets an erection it doesn’t last long. He also tried to blame me by saying I don’t wear sexy lingerie anymore but when I did today he did t care! Then he had a large drink and all of a sudden was desperate for sex. It’s left me feeling really bad about myself tbh

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Rockluvvindad · 11/04/2022 09:00

Think you might have just hit the nail on the head. He says when he gets one it doesn't last long but after a drink he is desperate... Sounds like performance anxiety, which may have roots in the stressful period. Once he is worried, it will keep happening because you can't get the worry out of your head.

Sounds like once he had a drink the nagging fear in the back of his mind got silenced / dulled sufficiently for him to ignore it. Obvs worth seeing a doc if he's worried but it sounds like a couple of goes with a low dose medical crutch ( Viagra, Cialis etc... ) might be enough to break the cycle.

He might be embarrassed about it but there's no shame. In fact it is great fun to feel like a teenager again 😂

RLD.

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