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No sex drive but constantly dreaming about it?

6 replies

Cerridwen83 · 30/03/2022 14:42

40 years old, been with my fiance for 3 years. Had a good active sex life until up about a year ago.

I work full time in a job that does come with a certain amount of stress (am a line manager) and I've also been on anti depressants for 5 years (Citalopram).

I know ADs can kill your sex drive, but it's never been this bad, I have ZERO interest in sex, I'm always tired out from work, and there is just no desire there at the moment.
I love my fiance to bits and still find him sexy etc. But I just don't want to do the deed 😕
When we do manage it (currently once or twice a fortnight) I just want it to be over to be honest. I enjoy the closeness and cuddles after etc, but I dislike the actual deed itself and want it to be over ASAP so we can do something else.

Anyway, the last couple of months I've been having these incredibly sexy dreams, dreaming in graphic detail about sexual acts and not only with my partner Blush
Like people on TV, even work colleagues!
In my dreams I'm incredibly turned on and loving every second of it Grin

When I wake up it just goes away again.
It's like my subconscious is saying, "you need more sex?"

Anyone else experienced this and any tips?

OP posts:
mags1862 · 30/03/2022 18:01

try masturbating as soon as you wake from your dream .

Myotherusernamewastakenagain · 30/03/2022 19:12


try masturbating as soon as you wake from your dream .

But not if you're on the train.
MrsGHarrison87 · 30/03/2022 20:50

Try taking sex off the cards and focusing on you and your own pleasure. Masturbate to the scenarios and people that turn you on. You might find the more you have pleasure, the more you need it.

mags1862 · 30/03/2022 22:14

Very good point re the train.

Blueberrywitch · 22/05/2022 23:07

I know this is a bit old but I am having the exact same experience, I have amazing vivid sex dreams (99% about my DP) and then wake up and am so disappointed that it wasn’t in real life.

Often I’ll have a dream that we are having sex in the bed and then wake up and realise I haven’t moved and we haven’t had sex, but then the thought of doing it all again in real life is too much!!

I also fancy my partner and find him sexy but then as soon as we start having sex in real life I find myself with noisy brain, can’t relax, feel icky etc.

I wish my arousal when awake was as amazing as when asleep!

lostincumbria · 23/05/2022 13:16

I think it could very well be that your brain is giving you what it thinks you should be doing. That doesn't mean you should force anything though.

If you put the dreams aside, how are you going to resolve this? Do you want to? My libido was way down on Citalapram too, do you have a plan to come off it at all?

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